(no subject)

[sythyry]

[5 Lage 4261]

Last night, Ilottat had started out being very satisfactory indeed. So of course I spoiled it.

Me:"That was very satisfactory indeed! You have thoroughly traffed me, sir."

Ilottat:"Sythyry!"

Me:"The very lizard! Indeed, the very satisfied lizard!"

Ilottat:"I wish vous, you wouldn't use that word. Especially not turning it into a berf, verb. Especially especially not in proximity iddo, to me."

Me:"Do you prefer xrossie?"

Ilottat:"No." If he doesn't use any foreign languages, he's both serious and annoyed.

And so we went around and around that argument a few more times. Which was resolved, as usual, by, well, me tugging off some sheets and proving my point with his enthusiastic cooperation, and him disregarding it.

In any case, this argument has gotten tiresome. He has a perfectly good same-species wife ... well, a perfectly dreadful one, but he could get a perfectly good one as well if he half tried. Even the sixth son of a count of an neigboring country has a title that ought to be worth eleven fine fucks a year on average, according to Crown Prince and Expert Purveyor of Titles into Copulations Nestrune Kreslink.

So today I consulted with the local expert in transaffection, who had, conveniently, stayed the night with Dustweed. As she usually does.

Me:"Tethezai? How does one persuade one's quite regular other-species lover that he is transaffectionate?"

Tethezai gave Dustweed a very embarrassed look indeed. I had helpfully forgotten that Dustweed would rather be cisaffectionate, that Tethezai pursued her quite vigorously, and that Dustweed is still uncomfortable with the topic. And that Dustweed was sitting next to Tethezai, adding far too much prune jelly to zir kathia.

I quickly and incoherently murbled things about talking about Ilottat.

Tethezai:"Well, are you transaffectionate? Various reports have given you various opinions on that question."

Me:"Yes, I'm traff."Which might be the first time I've said any such thing and not immediately hidden in a fireplace or under a bed or something.

Tethezai gave me one of those nasty superior smiles, the way that Rassimel sometimes do when you dare to be interested in their favorite topic, and they like you so they won't say anything, but you know they're thinking you're a terrible amateur and doing it all wrong.

So I rather had to ask...

Me:"Tethezai? How do I be traff properly?"

She gleeped. Dustweed flattened zir antennae.

Comments

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

That sounds like the very definition of being an amateur at something, though. I mean, it might be the best thing to do if you don't want it to be a big part of your life, but it's probably not the way the professionals go about it.

'Fitting into patterns' is just best practices, after all.

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

There are professional transaffectionates? How does one get money for this?

I'd kinda like to know, given my xenophiliac tendencies.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I am fairly sure that some of the clientele in Across Saga are professional transaffectionates. They get money the same way that other prostitutes do, I presume, though I should think the rates have a perversion surcharge.