(no subject)

[sythyry]

[5 Lage 4261]

Last night, Ilottat had started out being very satisfactory indeed. So of course I spoiled it.

Me:"That was very satisfactory indeed! You have thoroughly traffed me, sir."

Ilottat:"Sythyry!"

Me:"The very lizard! Indeed, the very satisfied lizard!"

Ilottat:"I wish vous, you wouldn't use that word. Especially not turning it into a berf, verb. Especially especially not in proximity iddo, to me."

Me:"Do you prefer xrossie?"

Ilottat:"No." If he doesn't use any foreign languages, he's both serious and annoyed.

And so we went around and around that argument a few more times. Which was resolved, as usual, by, well, me tugging off some sheets and proving my point with his enthusiastic cooperation, and him disregarding it.

In any case, this argument has gotten tiresome. He has a perfectly good same-species wife ... well, a perfectly dreadful one, but he could get a perfectly good one as well if he half tried. Even the sixth son of a count of an neigboring country has a title that ought to be worth eleven fine fucks a year on average, according to Crown Prince and Expert Purveyor of Titles into Copulations Nestrune Kreslink.

So today I consulted with the local expert in transaffection, who had, conveniently, stayed the night with Dustweed. As she usually does.

Me:"Tethezai? How does one persuade one's quite regular other-species lover that he is transaffectionate?"

Tethezai gave Dustweed a very embarrassed look indeed. I had helpfully forgotten that Dustweed would rather be cisaffectionate, that Tethezai pursued her quite vigorously, and that Dustweed is still uncomfortable with the topic. And that Dustweed was sitting next to Tethezai, adding far too much prune jelly to zir kathia.

I quickly and incoherently murbled things about talking about Ilottat.

Tethezai:"Well, are you transaffectionate? Various reports have given you various opinions on that question."

Me:"Yes, I'm traff."Which might be the first time I've said any such thing and not immediately hidden in a fireplace or under a bed or something.

Tethezai gave me one of those nasty superior smiles, the way that Rassimel sometimes do when you dare to be interested in their favorite topic, and they like you so they won't say anything, but you know they're thinking you're a terrible amateur and doing it all wrong.

So I rather had to ask...

Me:"Tethezai? How do I be traff properly?"

She gleeped. Dustweed flattened zir antennae.

Comments

[kistaro]

I and my sledgehammer would like to have a short but forceful discussion with you as to how unavoidable such puns are in situations like this.

[brennabat.livejournal.com]

Duly removed. As much as I like teasing Sythyry (and Bard!) I'd rather not ruin any of the mood for anyone. A lesson that posting under the influence of one too many cups of caffeine is not advisable! And now you know.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Be it known that neither Bard nor I complained about this post. Also I indulge in a great deal of wordplay, most of which Bard is incompetant to translate.

[Sythyry's preferred wordplay isn't exactly puns. It's alliteration, or "Fox in Socks" kind of stuff, or minimal pairs raised to the level of an assault weapon. No, I don't feel like trying to translate much of it. -bb]

[collie13.livejournal.com]

What's a "minimal pair," please?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

From linguistics: a pair of different words differing in just one sound, like "bit" and "pit". From this you can sort of deduce that "b" and "p" are in fact considered different in English -- different phonemes, is the linguistic term. (By contrast, the "p" in "spit" and the "p" in "pit" are different sounds -- they're two separate letters in Hindi, for one example -- but they're considered the same in English.)

OOC, I have been doing minimal quads at Rhys for a year and a half. (Not a linguistics term, just a wordplay.) Like... Rhys loves rice. Some times, like this morning, we pretty much have to pay him some rice to get him to stop whining. It's the Rhys rice peace price!

Oops, that's not perfect -- perfect would be "Rhys rice preace price" -- but close.)

[kistaro]

Ergh, don't misunderstand me, but threats of gratuitous violence are merely the traditional response to puns. I didn't really mind, but "*groan*" didn't seem to be sufficient...

[devon-alek.livejournal.com]

I am sure that makes perfect sense in your mind. My experience has been that people who don't like puns usually don't understand them.

[brennabat.livejournal.com]

In Kistaro's defense they were rather bad and probably deserving of some kind of violence. I removed them for one specific line which I misunderstood the intent of: "in situations like this." On second look I decided that yes, maybe it wasn't proper for the mood, and so I decided I'd rather not derail the mood for any reader. I am not otherwise bothered or offended!

[brennabat.livejournal.com]

Oops! Well it was probably for the best. Undoubtedly destroying the easy evidence will prove worth while! I wouldn't want them to be displayed at an inopportune moment.

"Step forward BrennaBat and receive thy judgment for your time on Earth! We have reviewed your record and all is well an- ... Wait, there is new information ... ah ... Ah! Puns! From a "Living Journal!" Transcendance denied!"

[redbird]

O Zi Ri, how much does it matter whether Ilottat calls himself transaffectionate? He loves you, that's the main thing, I think.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

It matters in that I would rather that he not act quite so disgusted about loving me. It matters in that lying -- or self-delusion -- is a poor foundation for any sort of enduring love.

[redbird]

I agree, absolutely.

I thought he was just unhappy with the label traff: if he's unhappy loving you, well, there are a lot of orren out there, some of whom will be glad to say they love you.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm on an allowance, and my mother could probably get a detailed report of my expenses. Especially considering that Ilottat's mother-in-law is my banker. I don't think I could really pay for one of the convenient Orren who would be glad to say they love me.

Or, perhaps, I actually love Ilottat, and am generally happy about it, and wish he'd feel the same.

[redbird]

Oh, my dear Zi Ri, I was not suggesting you hire someone to claim to love you. I was pointing out that you are a fine, intelligent youth, and there are orren who will love you and not be ashamed of it.

It is possible that, given time and patience, Ilottat will become such a one. I hope so.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Forgive me: last night was short of sleep, and longer on quarrels than it could have been.

[redbird]

There is nothing for you to forgive: I am sorry I didn't write more clearly.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Isn't the point to be traff improperly? Although I suppose for *that* you'd ask Ysgwd and Rhedwy.

So...

Were you *trying* to make a pass at Tethezai and Dustweed?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Um ... no. Very no.

[esory.livejournal.com]

She gleeped.

Hah! Serves her right for being so superior. ;)

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

Even the sixth son of a count of an neigboring country has a title that ought to be worth eleven fine fucks a year on average...

Remind myself NOT to drink while I read your fine diary, my dear Zi Ri.

Anyway, if I may give an answer -- though I'm sure that Tethezai has already answered you -- the proper way to be xrossie is...

...to be yourself. The same Zi Ri that we've known and admired from afar. Love, learn, and enjoy yourself. Don't try to fit into the xrossie pattern; just be yourself.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

That sounds like the very definition of being an amateur at something, though. I mean, it might be the best thing to do if you don't want it to be a big part of your life, but it's probably not the way the professionals go about it.

'Fitting into patterns' is just best practices, after all.

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

There are professional transaffectionates? How does one get money for this?

I'd kinda like to know, given my xenophiliac tendencies.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I am fairly sure that some of the clientele in Across Saga are professional transaffectionates. They get money the same way that other prostitutes do, I presume, though I should think the rates have a perversion surcharge.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Did you gleep too, then?

[mufi.livejournal.com]

So. A zi ri seeks advice. Zie is traff for some time, and zie now decides to admit this.

Zie should ask Rhedwy. A sleeth is helpful; a sleeth tries to advise zir for much time now.

A sleeth is the mighty traff!

[brennabat.livejournal.com]

Re-reading this entry I now have the disconcerting image of a Tethezai traff review and tour. It would involve collections. And diagrams. Possibly the theory, history, and broad status of traff. Oh, and maybe a homework review.

Traff 101 anyone? Dustweed's room, if lacking a proper name, could become the Hall of the Glorious and Confused Facets of Love.