sythyry | (no subject)

Ten things that I've done that I'm pretty sure nobody else reading this has done.

I have gotten a man to divorce his husband and wife over me, without specifically doing anything with him.
I have been the decoration on a birthday cake for someone else.
I have sat on the head of a carnivorous warhorse while the rider paralyzed her uncle's leg.
I have performed Greater Enchantments across from a Sleeth.
I have comforted a both-female. Repeatedly. Bleh.
I have counted cisaffectionate vs. transaffectionate couples at the Pillar of Incangiophor at midnight.
I have referred to a Herethroy prostitute named "Pleasant Blossom" as "Pleasant Bottom" by mistake.
I have mistaken a countess for a hired thug.
I have delayed a countess for quite some time, striving to keep her from seeing her childhood friend.
I have repeatedly missed the fact that people told me that my lover is married.
I have acquired a taste for a condiment of fermented snakes, garlic, and chilis.
I have had a dean break my right forepaw.
I have flung leek scraps at Judge Pelchergrey Mesidion-Porgu.
I have accidentally had four dinners in one day.
I have spraddled with two Rassimel for most of a night. And still considered myself virgin afterwards.

I'm sure there are ten in there.

I feel so dull in comparison to you, Sythyry! The only one of those I've done was #14 -- and I didn't really want to.

However, reflecting on #13, I recall I did accidentally pelt my high school Advanced Placement Biology professor with an eyeball from the cat dissection I was then doing. I'd meant to strike the cute young man one table up from me, whom I was far too shy to actually speak to, but I missed -- quite drastically! Obviously hormonal attraction makes one a terrible pitcher. ;)

Also fortunately, neither the professor nor any of the other students noticed from whence came the errant eyeball. ;-j

OOC: Well, being fictional gives zir a distinctly advantage in having an interesting life!

5) Would depend on how both-female parses onto monsters. And I wouldn't say "bleh" to the experience myself if it overlaps the way I think it does.

10) The closest I've come is almost taking up with a man who I dropped as soon as it was made clear to me he was married and lying to me and his wife about the situation (he claimed to be a widower).

From a cultural POV, both-female would probably best correspond to an intersexed or hermaphroditic person here in monster-land.

(Functionally, human female bodies, and WT mammalian female bodies as well, do what both-female Herethroy bodies can do -- that is to say, both produce an egg and carry that egg to term.)

Most of the people who I've known to be cake decorations, well, let's just say that they were decorations inside of their respective cakes.

#7 reminds me of the old story about the army regiment who robbed a nobleman's orchard to replace the plumes on their hats, and was thus nicknamed the Pheasant Pluckers. No regiment ever enunciated their fight songs more clearly.

Amazingly, I can still ditto two of these. And would one specifically have had to fling leek scraps at Judge Pelchergrey Mesidion-Porgu, or would another vegetable or judge do just as well?

"I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son, and I'm busy plucking pheasants 'til the pheasant plucker comes…"

My mom taught me that when I was about five. o.O

You are absolutely correct

There are ten items mentioned in your list that I have not done.

You know, I could do with some spraddling right about now.

I often enjoy spending a few hours sorting and classifying and charting the relationships between elements of a collection, but I never learned a formal method for doing it rigorously.

You're correct. I've never done any of those, but some sound very tempting.