(no subject)

[sythyry]

In Which Esory Bites My Head Off [21 Thory 4261]

Esory was browsing through my journal in Enchantments class, as she does now and then. After class, I found this note tucked in it.

Sythyry ...

It's not just that Ilottat is treating you badly -- though he is. You are not treating him very well, either. He's said that he wants to keep this a secret, yet here you are writing about it in your journal and you know that I've read it on occassion, as well as Floosh, not to mention a veritable ocean of monsters and-who-knows-who else. You've told six? eight? people directly. Even when Anoof warned you of the smell issue, you forgot.

You don't want to keep it a secret, and Ilottat desperately does. Please ... do try to talk to him. Find out why it's so important that he would be goofy enough as to pretend not to recognize you in public. Perhaps if you understood better what the consequences of this tryst are for him personally, it would be easier for you to accept his wishes.

Or to break it off.

I know, it's none of my business. And I ought to sit by and watch the two of you tear each other apart and politely say nothing while I pretend not to notice but ...

Sorry.

This is utterly ridiculous in every sentence of course! Ilottat isn't treating me badly. I'm not treating him badly. I have only mentioned the matter to a small number of very trustworthy people. And the monsters don't count -- if they're real at all (are you?) they can hardly be considered reliable witnesses in a court of law. (Unless there are courts of law in monster-branch somewhere, I suppose.)

And I've been careful with scents except the one day, and that only because I got back so very late at night.

And, well, I did ask him, last night. I didn't have time to explain it here because, well, it was awfully late, non-bathing-allowed sort of late.

And we're not tearing each other apart. At all. Tearing clothes off is another matter!

The Explanation of The Extreme Secrecy

Me:"Why, O why, must you be so secret about our involvement, that you cannot so much as recognize me in public?"

Ilottat:"I said I was sorry about that." (He had, too.)

I spent a bit of time comforting him, there.

Me:"But why is it such at very very touchy matter for you?"

Ilottat:"My father would be contrarie, displeased. Very displeased."

Me:"Even with a Zi Ri? We're not the least honored of species."

Ilottat:"Especially with a Zi Ri."

Me:"How, especially?"

Ilottat:"Because, well, he is concerned with the honorem, the family name. In the history books, and the archivia, the records. You will remember it forever!"

Me:"I will remember you fondly as my first true love!"

We paused briefly for some activities traditional when someone says something like that.

Me:"Still, I must ask ... he sent you off to school in Vheshrame, having warned you particularly against Zi Ri? Hezimikkinen is hardly in the habit of seducing Academy students!"

Ilottat:"Well, there's a little more of a reason..."

With much earflattening, he showed me a book entitled Langorous Lizards in Love. I looked at a few of the illustrations ... the book was mostly illustrations. Almost any other time I would have been embarrassed. As it was, I just leafed through a bit. "Ooh, we should try that one!"

Ilottat:"My father discovered me as an adolescent, yn darllen, that is, reading this book, and, well, doing something else as well..." He indicated just what by a gesture.

Me:"Ooh, that looks hard!" It did, though not in the "difficult" sense. "Could I help you with it?" It turned out that I could. This interrupted the conversation for some time.

Ilottat:"So he thought that I might like Zi Ri."

Me:"Well, I hope he was right!"

Ilottat:"Upote, maepote! No!"

Me:"I hope you like me at least!"

Ilottat:"Well, yes, I do seem to. But, well, I'm sure I wouldn't so much as edrych, look at another Zi Ri."

Me:"How about other Orren?"

Ilottat:"Well, um, I might have a relationship with another Orren. To please my father, if nothing else. He does pay my addicion, my bills."

Since his bills are rather high even in months when he's not seducing me at Darraden's, I can see that keeping his father happy has some importance.

Me:"Well, if you marry another Orren, perhaps you and me and they could ... well ... I do like Orren."

In some settings it's hard to say that you're transaffectionate. Having your tail curled snugly around an intimate bit of a member-of-another-species makes it much easier. I recommend this to everyone with suitably flexible tails.

Um, that's me and Sleeth, I think, and Sleeth are all transaffectionate sluts anyways and don't care who thinks what of them.

(And no, Zi Ri aren't all transaffectionate sluts. I am quite fussy and extremely picky about my lovers! Lover, rather!)

Ilottat:"Sythyry!"

Me:"What?"

Ilottat:"Please ... the whole topic is a bit umkippen, upsetting to me. Could we talk about something else instead?"

We found something else. No, it wasn't that, or at least, it wasn't entirely that. He painted the inside of my wings with brilliant crimson and viridian stripes, and caught a picture of me decorated that way, with my intimate organs in a configuation suitable to the nature of our relationship.

And that's really why I forgot to wash up at home -- because I had already washed up at Ilottat's. Except that, well, there was a certain amount of physical affection after the washing.

No, I don't entirely believe that he's not attracted to Zi Ri.

Anyways, I think Esory has entirely the wrong of it!

Comments

[kistaro]

Illotat sounds a lot like me trying, for years, to convince myself that I'm not actually attracted to others of the same sex (something, in monster society, considered in a rather similar light to transaffection in yours), and I'm absolutely perfectly heterosexual. I've since come to peace with bisexuality.

Illotat is in denial out of fear. This is identical to the situation I was in. I slowly slipped out of it on my own, but what would have helped was someone to talk me through it. Guess what position you have, with respect to Illotat, just gotten nominated for?

It is, of course, entirely your decision whether or not to take the advice of a monster, but I would urge you to take things slowly. Illotat even getting intimate with you is most assuredly a huge step for him; don't frighten him away. He's terrified of how others would react, and that's both normal and well-founded. He just needs to accept it in himself. It's safer- it is, in my experience, easier to hide something from others when one is not hiding it from onesself.

I would suggest being patient with Illotat. This has to be a lot harder for him than you seem to be perceiving. His fear is well-founded, as far as my limited knowledge of your world can determine; it is completely analogous to my hiding my sexuality and religious belief system for exactly the same reasons. But Illotat can't change this about himself, I suspect, and he'd be well-advised to come to peace with his tendencies.

By the same token, for his sake, be more discreet. You have told more people than you intended to. While telling a few hundred monsters in another plane of existence about this is safe, telling just one person who lives near the situation is not. But beyond that, consider how it is for Illotat- it is, I suspect, his worst fear for his transaffectionate tendencies to be discovered. Can you not understand a bit of worry on his part if you're taking actions that increase the probability- and directly increase the number of people aware of such tendencies?

Perhaps a bit more discresion is warranted.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

[OOC: I am glad that that some people are getting Ilottat's position. And sorry if Sythyry's being hideously annoying today.]

I'm not actually attracted to others of the same sex

This is hideously perplexing, and not just because I'm the only sex of Zi Ri there is. There's no problem to being interested in other sorts of monsters, as long as you're interested in the right sex of them? Regardless of, oh, social station, or age? What about species of monster with incompatible systems of gender? If we had that rule ... um ... either Ilottat would be home free, or he'd be just where he is now, I suppose.


I slowly slipped out of it on my own, but what would have helped was someone to talk me through it. Guess what position you have, with respect to Illotat, just gotten nominated for?

I think I am doing an excellent job of it so far!

[Bard respectfully disagrees. -bb]

[(Anonymous)]

There's no problem to being interested in other sorts of monsters, as long as you're interested in the right sex of them? Regardless of, oh, social station, or age? What about species of monster with incompatible systems of gender?

Yeah. Freakin' furries. :)

[kistaro]

[[OOC: Isn't it fun to write for something you completely disagree with? Also, with Sythyry's remarks about questioning if we exist, you might want to check out the now-complete webcomic One Over Zero. You've reminded me of it. It started out extremely lame, but picked up somewhere around strip 300; it wound up surprisingly philosophical. Among other things, it questioned the nature of fiction as the characters contemplated their own lack of reality. A fictional character questioning the reality of zir readers fits in very nicely...]]

I never claimed that sex was the only factor, merely one of the ones that crossing the line will get you beaten for. (At least where I live.) Social station is frowned upon, and getting involved with someone much younger or older than you also is, and there are legal threshholds where it will get you arrested and tracked for life. (This is the only criterion I've listed so far that I strongly support.)

Keep in mind the sharp differences of our worlds. You come from a world with nine distinct prime species- and impressive menagerie. Although I am considered a monster by your standards, I'm of this planet's equivalent to the sole prime species. (As socially accepted by us, anyway. I personally suspect at least two other species have achieved human levels of intelligence, but most humans are egotistical and don't like to entertain the thought.) There are no other prime species to consider. The closest thing to transaffectionate tendencies would be bestiality. (Socially, transaffection is much more parallel to homosexuality. [OOC: Imagine that.] ) That would be sexual activity with anything of any other species; this is considered an abomination, combining "unnatural lust" (as written in the state laws of Misourri) with rape (an animal cannot consent). It's another one of those crimes that gets one arrested and tracked for life- if caught.

If you're not confused enough yet, just ask more questions. I'll do what I can to ensure that you are appropriately befuddled.

With all due respect, I'm not entirely sure you're doing the best possible job to help Illotat through his confusion. As I stated before: discretion. You're acting out his worst fears even more than you might realize, and with the new information you've recieved- that he's married- the temptation is to pull away worse.

While it's a logical urge, an abrupt rejection would hardly help Illotat, who already appears to be under enough stress. I'm not sure what would be the correct course of action, but abandoning Illotat- especially angrily- would probably be the worst one.

Good luck with that...