Also, why do you think so many creatures on your world are made with traits specifically to make primes' lives hard? How does this reality make you feel?
Not highly do I regard my creator god, but with the hatred and the wrath!
The thought is on me that the gods have made us as trials and torments for the primes, as obstacles against them, as scenery against which they may achieve greatness. The opinion I have of Gnarn is due to this thought, and many others.
[Oh, Gavin, look what you've done. You've gone and made her cry. My keyboard's all bloody, and ... ow! I cut my finger on one of her glass-shard teardrops! Sheesh!]
To what extent is it theoretically possible to change that part of your nature? Would that involve making you into something that you are not, a different person? If the answer to both of those is 'yes, it is possible, and yes it would make me a different person', would you do it anyway?
What gives you your greatest joy? Not the compulsive joys that you have no choice for having joy over, but your greatest natural Joy, that you can choose to experience?
I honestly thought it would be something to do with friendship, but I didn't know exactly what part of it your answer would be. People can get very poetic with responding to that sort of question.
You should encourage some art then! Choose some harmless type of artistic style (ask the people on the ship for suggestions), and practice some art! It will give you something interesting to do, and since it's art, it's something you won't master, you can just keep getting better and better at it!
Alternatively, is Sythyry thinks this is an absolute terrible idea, maybe you can ask zir for an alternative hobby that is less likely to be harmful?
Why do you like having Prime friends better than nonprime friends? Or is there another reason that you're close to Sythyry in particular, as opposed to keeping company with nonprimes more often?
The innate compulsion, pure and simple, is why I prefer prime friends.
The things that Sythyry has done that prove zie is a true friend include: the endless patience with me and my constant providing of trouble; the general lack of the wish to exploit my powers for zir own gain; the occasional admission that I am a person, however flawed and inferior, and worthy of consideration as one; the unwillingness to abandon me even when it would be convenient; the general lack of fear of me; the similar things. The last century has given Sythyry several chances to break off zir friendship with me, and zie has not taken them.
I will grant that you are a person with flaws, but you are not 'inferior'! :( And you are certainly a person worthy of friendship and respect.
Is the compulsion to befriend Primes connected with the desire to get things from them? Is it kind of like the way Cani emotions of sallafan and dellafan are connected but different? (Sorry, I don't remember how to spell them.)
The Cani emotions of salaffan and deffa are more dignified and noble. The compulsions on me are as like and unlike them as blind drunken lust is like the purest love.
Correct me if I am wrong, but based on what you said, is the following true?
Even though you would like someone to change you in such a way, and there is no magical reason why it should NOT be possible, should some mighty wizard ever try to change you in this way that you would find helpful, you would be under a compulsion to resist as much as you are able, the moment zie started zir mighty magics?
Not helpful could it be, to rake my mind and comb it and spread it out in a different way! Not compulsion, but self-preservation, alone would have me resist it thoroughly!
I'm sorry, it's not meant as a trap, it's more a 'trying to understand you and your motives, and what could maybe be done.' If you feel up to it, could you elaborate on this topic in general, give me something to go by?
Maybe Sythyry knows the answer to this? I know you don't mind using Mentador on yourself to change your mind; is the reason you can't 'fix' the things about yourself that you dislike because you can't perceive what exactly they are well enough to change them -- or to want anyone else to try?
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 12:48 am (UTC)Also, why do you think so many creatures on your world are made with traits specifically to make primes' lives hard? How does this reality make you feel?
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 12:54 am (UTC)The thought is on me that the gods have made us as trials and torments for the primes, as obstacles against them, as scenery against which they may achieve greatness. The opinion I have of Gnarn is due to this thought, and many others.
[Oh, Gavin, look what you've done. You've gone and made her cry. My keyboard's all bloody, and ... ow! I cut my finger on one of her glass-shard teardrops! Sheesh!]
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 12:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 12:58 am (UTC)The certainly I would, for not so dearly do I love being Vae.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 01:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 01:11 am (UTC)Alternatively, is Sythyry thinks this is an absolute terrible idea, maybe you can ask zir for an alternative hobby that is less likely to be harmful?
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 04:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 07:53 am (UTC)The things that Sythyry has done that prove zie is a true friend include: the endless patience with me and my constant providing of trouble; the general lack of the wish to exploit my powers for zir own gain; the occasional admission that I am a person, however flawed and inferior, and worthy of consideration as one; the unwillingness to abandon me even when it would be convenient; the general lack of fear of me; the similar things. The last century has given Sythyry several chances to break off zir friendship with me, and zie has not taken them.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 02:49 pm (UTC)Is the compulsion to befriend Primes connected with the desire to get things from them? Is it kind of like the way Cani emotions of sallafan and dellafan are connected but different? (Sorry, I don't remember how to spell them.)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 02:52 pm (UTC)The Cani emotions of salaffan and deffa are more dignified and noble. The compulsions on me are as like and unlike them as blind drunken lust is like the purest love.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 06:38 pm (UTC)Even though you would like someone to change you in such a way, and there is no magical reason why it should NOT be possible, should some mighty wizard ever try to change you in this way that you would find helpful, you would be under a compulsion to resist as much as you are able, the moment zie started zir mighty magics?
no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-02 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-03 11:25 pm (UTC)