[Theoretical Thursday #1]

[sythyry]

Mirrored from Sythyry.

[OOC: Sythyry is going to fuss around, privately, with the theory of transaffection. If you want to comment, zie will pay attention and it may have an influence on how zir theories evolve. (Not necessarily the influence you want, but that's true with any theoretical discussion.) I will post the fussing on Thursdays, and keep actual story on MWF, or that's the plan. -bb]

I am now very, very confused, and apprehensive, and upset, and worried, and confused, and distressed, and perplexed, and confused, and confused.

1. Am I cisaffectionate really? I must admit that I responded to Saza as eagerly as I did to Arfaen or Thenel … maybe less than Mynthë? Or maybe I am not remembering that perfectly? It is decades ago now, and I did not write the details down.
2. If I’m really cisaffectionate, what should I do vis-a-vis Castle Wrong? Can I have an estate like Castle Wrong if I’m not actually wrong?
3. Haven’t I just betrayed most of my closest friends?
4. And/or I betrayed Tarfnie. In 4363, Tarfnie broke up with his Herethroy coloverfriend, and got involved with another Rassimel. There was Considerable Drama around this change, and even some Doom. In the end it was decided that Tarfnie was not traff, and, in fact, not Wrong, and so should no longer live in Castle Wrong. We’re still not really on speaking terms with Tarfnie. (This sort of thing has happened, with variations and complications, a number of times. Tarfnie is the one that stings the most of recent: he and I were very good friends beforehand.) And I didn’t behave that differently from Tarfnie.
5. Maybe I’m not really traff. I have never been much interested in Khtsoyis, or Sleeth, or Gormoror. Not really. If I were actually traff, I’d be just as excited by them as by Orren … right?
6. And Mynthë sometimes did tease me by turning into a Zi Ri and making out with me. Which I enjoyed as much as everything else with Mynthë, even if it was a bit perplexing and embarrassing.
7. Maybe I’m not really cissy, just, well, horny, and Saza was available. I’d have gone for a Rassy or a Cani just as fast, and an Orren much faster.
8. Wouldn’t I? How can I be sure of that?
9. If I’m really cisaffectionate … that would explain why I’m always so reluctant to get involved by my own clients. Right? ’cause I don’t really want to get involved with them, not really. I really want other Zi Ri, even if I won’t (wouldn’t?) admit it to myself. It all sort of hangs together, doesn’t it?
10. I’ll have to … move somewhere else where I can find lovers, right? One of the Zi Ri cities, or at least a city with more than one other Zi Ri in it. Where I will be (a) exceedingly young, and (b) have a terrible reputation as a traff pervert, so it won’t even work very well.
11. And abandon Castle Wrong and betray everyone in it.
12. Even if I like people of other species — like the more than my own — I am obviously a total slut, willing and eager to fornicate with anyone who shows me the least bit of interest or attention or affection.

I suppose I really ought to make up my mind: cisaffectionate? or transaffectionate? After more than a century of being traff, I think I have persuaded myself that transaffection is nearly as much an expression of true honest-to-gods love and pleasure as cisaffection is supposed to be. (For the record: I think I understand cisaffection better as of today, and I think I was completely right in all regards about transaffection.) So I’m really not abandoning it just because I’ll rip off my ribbons for the first vaguely appealing Zi Ri I happen to meet in an alley somewhere.

Even though, well, I basically did, didn’t I?

So I’m basically like Inconnu. Except that Inconnu is an honest and clear traff slut, and I am just a plain dishonest … libertine, I suppose. I suppose I’ll be holding that kind of party any day now, with wenezza cookies all ’round, and honest-and-honorable Phaniet will be pretending she doesn’t know me.

I’m babbling, aren’t I?

For the moment I will pretend that I am still the Sythyry I am used to, that everyone in Castle Wrong is used to, and perhaps I will sort this terrible mess out.

The Theory

The last century and a half has taught me that there are three sorts of primes:

Cisaffectionate	Capable of lusting for and loving their own species.
Transaffectionate	Capable of lusting for and loving all seven other species.
Libertine	Lusts for all eight species; incapable of love.

I have been assuming that I was transaffectionate, and that I actually loved Mynthë. I suspect now that I am actually a libertine, and I merely pretended to everyone (including myself) that I loved her.

Honestly I’d rather be cissy than a libertine.

Comments

[kobolds.livejournal.com]

Right Sythers, the first think you need to do is put this out of your mind and invent a spell which will allow us monsters to reach between universes and slap you for being such a silly little lizard.

Though I suspect you'll not do that, so I'm going to move on to answering your questions / providing advice whether you want it or not.

1. Yes, you are probably cisaffectionate and also transaffection at the same time.

Have you ever considered that what is really attractive about a person is what they mean to you, their personality and all the non-physical elements to a person?

In our world there is only the one species, but because of the way our society has developed your species gap is the same (though inversed)as our gender gap. While we've largely come to grips with same sex relationships, we're only just starting to adjust to the idea that it doesn't have to be same sex or other sex. You've got an advantage here, social trends change over time, and as a Zi-Ri you are going to be around and influential for a lot of time. Start showing the Tree that it's okay to be both, and in a generation or two that will become quite happily accepted, or at the very least, thought about seriously.

2. You're still transaffectionate, so keep maintaining Castle Wrong, also you're still wrong in plenty of ways. Apart from anything else they are you're friends and clients. If you're really unsure, I suggest you go ask them.

3. I do not believe so. Most of your closest friends probably just care that you get a Doom free relationship that you enjoy, no matter who it is. Granted Iconnu will probably take offence that you have damaged the traff spirit, but I'm pretty sure he won't hold it against you, especially if you sleep with him to show you are still traff even if you also like Zi-Ri.

4. You should go apologise to Tarfnie, regardless of what you decide about yourself. You shouldn't lose a very good friend over who they love. Only allowing yourself to be friends with wrongfolk just makes you all seem unaproachable, and hinders your cause.

5. I doubt you will find that many traff folk who are interested in all seven other species by equal amount. I also think traff should not exclude one's own species from that list, after all if a rassimel were to date cani and orren as much as they dated rassimel would they not be traff?

6. It was Mynthë. No matter what the shape she took, it was still Mynthë. Was it not the same way between you and Thennel some time ago, you always being in Orren form? He still liked you for your personality and mind.

7. No doubt you were horny, you've just broken up with Thennel after he re-awoke your sex drive. And yes you'd probably have gone for an Orren faster but they wouldn't have had Saza's personality, which seems to be what swung you over to enjoying yourself with zie.

Once again, which god is it that demands that cisaffection and transaffection be entirely mutually exclusive is a fundamental force of your universe? And if there is no such requirement for it to be that way, why must you think of it as such?

8. Stop worrying, enjoy yourslef.

9. You're so worried to get involved with your own clients because you are a very moral lizard who likes to make life difficult for himself.

10. There are Zi-Ri cities?

11. No.

12. How many years did you go without a partner? I don't think you are a total slut. You can't be and not have bedded Inconnu.