OOC -- Wrongest Critical Miss Table Of All

[sythyry]

OOC -- I'm (probably) too sick to write a Sythyry today. In the spirit of Castle Wrong, and the fact that Sythyry is based in a RPG, please contribute suggestions to make this the Wrongest Critical Miss Table Of All. (Not for World Tree, since it talks about undead and WT doesn't have undead. Kinda for anything-or-nothing-in-particular.)

Critical Miss (Fumble) Table.

(*)ed items do not apply to undead, though nothing in the rule system tells you whether they do not apply when the opponent is undead, when you are undead, both, or neither.

1. Drop your weapon
2. Break your weapon
3. Get shampoo in eyes.
4. Belch loudly enough to amuse opponent (*)
5. Break wind loudly enough to amuse opponent (*)
6. Accidentally grant opponent knighthood (*)
7. Discover that opponent has made you pregnant. (*)
8. Hit an ally
9. Hit yourself
10. Accidentally buy small present for opponent.
11. Invite opponent to birthday party (*)
12. Fall down
13. Call opponent by the name of a former lover
14. Die for d4 rounds (*)
15. Lay an egg.
16. Realize that your watch is slow.
17. Realize that your watch is fast.
18. Celestial waitresses appear and serve hamburgers to everyone in the melee, except you.
19. Realize that your watch is stopped.

Comments

[aprivatefox.livejournal.com]

• Become immediately and cripplingly aware of your own fictional nature. 1d8 existential damage, stunned for 1d6 rounds or until your player convinces you if your own reality.
• Comical failure, all observers must save or be stunned laughing for 1d6 rounds. Roll a d12 for specifics:
  • 1: Three Stooges Eyepoke. Deal 1d2+1 damage to enemy
  • 2-4: Pratfall. Take 1d3 falling damage and become prone.
  • 5-8: Walk into object. Take 1d6 damage
  • 9-11: Slip and land on back. Take 1d4 damage, become prone, and stunned for 1de rounds.
  • 12: Accidentally hit self in genitals. Take 1d6 bludgeoning damage, stunned for 1d3 rounds, +2 rounds to laughter for all observers.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Can I trade you a π-sided die for your e-sided one?

[aprivatefox.livejournal.com]

That would just be irrational, wouldn't it?

(That started life as a typo, but I had to leave it in. =)

[psaakyrn.livejournal.com]

Mildly related to point 1: Find yourself wondering if it's all a dream (hence letting it apply to anything else)