(no subject)

[sythyry]

Strategy and Tactics of Restaurant Visits [11 Thory 4385; Eigrach, Srineia]

Grinwipey:"Boss, why the dashitzie are you going to that kinda place?" Grinwipey was clearly rather distressed: he twisted a needle in two tentacles, and was speaking comprehensibly.

Me:"It's just a restaurant, Grinwipey."

Grinwipey:"Yeah, it's just a restaurant. So far you got shot up with arrows, stabbed up with swords, strangled up with seneschals, and ... "

Este:"Knocked up with wood-mages."

Me:"This one's a regular and even legitimate restaurant. It's even in the guide books."

Grinwipey:"It's a frimpin' pit o'death, feathergirl. It's a smicker-felking pit o'death, and you're going there to tumble down and get your wheenwhacking twef laminated and frimped with a glaive-guisarme. I wouldn't be caught dead going in to a place like that, 'cause I'd be frimpin' caught dead comin' out."

Me:"You wouldn't be caught dead going into a place like that because you can't taste very acutely."

Phaniet:"How about we all turn into Cani, so we can taste better?"

Windigar:"Easy for you to say! You're already Cani."

Este:"I do not feel very good about that. I know how you feel about Cani lovers. Are you trying to break up with me after all these years?"

Phaniet:"I'm just trying to make sure that I don't spoil this very formal and very expensive dinner by being overcome with lust for your delectable Rassimel body and pounce your bones right there in the restaurant. You are my love now and always, Este."

Grinwipey:"That does it." He crammed his hat on his head and drifted furiously towards the door.

I flew after him. "Grinwipey? What?"

Grinwipey:"I am getting all whodded and chafed with all this traff kissing around and turning into Cani and nobody with the choons to listen when I tells them not to go stuff some lorching poisoned mushrooms up their wordges! I'm gonna go find a frimpin' rent-a-shoggy for some frimpin' frimping and let the rest of you blunkwads go sporridge up your tchuppers all you like!"

Me:"Go then." Some of my crew I will try to cheer up or some such. Grinwipey can take care of himself, physically and emotionally, and when he's upset enough to insult traff-folk around me, I'm not the one to cheer him up anyhow.

Comments

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

How about, Male OR female, depending on the season? When are you going to describe zi ri anatomy for us one of these days?? From what I can tell, there are a few type of hermaphrodite species here, and none that seem to do the exact sort of thing that zi ri do (by the vague hints you have given thus far!)

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

How about, Male OR female, depending on the season?

No.

When are you going to describe zi ri anatomy for us one of these days??

Exotic grammar, that. I will not describe it; it is covered in plentiful and enthusiastic detail in a wide variety of reference materials. As I am traff, I feel no particular enthusiasm for description.

From what I can tell, there are a few type of hermaphrodite species here, and none that seem to do the exact sort of thing that zi ri do (by the vague hints you have given thus far!)

Nonetheless, I feel no great need to emigrate.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

I meant to say, we don't have ACCESS to the reference materials! We have access to your journal! And I have been trying to deduce what it IS like by reading about local examples, and they are all off from what you have implied. I strongly do not suggest you emigrate -- all the local hermaphrodite species are animals, and generally pretty dumb ones too (worms, frogs, some fish, stuff like that)!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I am none of those sorts of things! What's more, I don't believe you are, either.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

No, I'm not, but I like biology and anatomy, and if there is any one creature who is definitely designed with finesse and intent, it's zi ri! None of the creatures here are actually so obviously designed; the god(s), such as they are, took a very very hands off approach and set things up so they kind of design themselves in a way that is hard to describe. So that is why I want to know more about zi ri anatomy, sexual or otherwise... and before you say buy a book, no one has put whatever enchantment that lets your (and other Prime) journals be read by my type of monster ON one of the books!

[zeeth_kyrah]

From context of the many comments here over the years, it seems that Sythyry's translator has some form of dimensional access, but perhaps no-one else?

And I'm going to guess there's some form of... unigendered zygote? Eh, I suspect that the kind of necessary research, if it has been conducted, has been conducted through scrying-type spells (or just asking Hren Tzen) rather than the mechanical equipment we would use. Probably much more convenient, that, aside from privacy issues.

Heck, if Sythyry's translator has access to more than a single journal, well. I suppose such a supplemental would be interesting, but not well read on this side of the wall... and I doubt we'd get illustrations for the more structurally complex elements (if there are any). But I do remember a note long ago, stating something like "one for pleasure, one for reproduction" and mentioning intense pain.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

I think Bard just likes taunting those of us with purient interests in his creations. ={

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

[I'm just crap at writing porn. -bb]