(no subject)

[sythyry]

Strategy and Tactics of Restaurant Visits [11 Thory 4385; Eigrach, Srineia]

Grinwipey:"Boss, why the dashitzie are you going to that kinda place?" Grinwipey was clearly rather distressed: he twisted a needle in two tentacles, and was speaking comprehensibly.

Me:"It's just a restaurant, Grinwipey."

Grinwipey:"Yeah, it's just a restaurant. So far you got shot up with arrows, stabbed up with swords, strangled up with seneschals, and ... "

Este:"Knocked up with wood-mages."

Me:"This one's a regular and even legitimate restaurant. It's even in the guide books."

Grinwipey:"It's a frimpin' pit o'death, feathergirl. It's a smicker-felking pit o'death, and you're going there to tumble down and get your wheenwhacking twef laminated and frimped with a glaive-guisarme. I wouldn't be caught dead going in to a place like that, 'cause I'd be frimpin' caught dead comin' out."

Me:"You wouldn't be caught dead going into a place like that because you can't taste very acutely."

Phaniet:"How about we all turn into Cani, so we can taste better?"

Windigar:"Easy for you to say! You're already Cani."

Este:"I do not feel very good about that. I know how you feel about Cani lovers. Are you trying to break up with me after all these years?"

Phaniet:"I'm just trying to make sure that I don't spoil this very formal and very expensive dinner by being overcome with lust for your delectable Rassimel body and pounce your bones right there in the restaurant. You are my love now and always, Este."

Grinwipey:"That does it." He crammed his hat on his head and drifted furiously towards the door.

I flew after him. "Grinwipey? What?"

Grinwipey:"I am getting all whodded and chafed with all this traff kissing around and turning into Cani and nobody with the choons to listen when I tells them not to go stuff some lorching poisoned mushrooms up their wordges! I'm gonna go find a frimpin' rent-a-shoggy for some frimpin' frimping and let the rest of you blunkwads go sporridge up your tchuppers all you like!"

Me:"Go then." Some of my crew I will try to cheer up or some such. Grinwipey can take care of himself, physically and emotionally, and when he's upset enough to insult traff-folk around me, I'm not the one to cheer him up anyhow.

Comments

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

Poor Grinwipey. I hope he finds a very satisfactory rent-a-shoggy.

[rowyn]

Soooo ... do Khtsoyis marriages usually carry an expectation of fidelity, or not?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Khtsoyis marriages are between two Khtsoyis. Is further explanation required?

[foomf.livejournal.com]

It's difficult to say because I don't really grok the Khtsoyis communication mode and therefore cannot engage more than rudimentary empathy with them. I don't recall how Grinwipey came to be in your entourage, so cannot say whether insulting traff is self-derogatory in his case, but I agree in the previous well-wishes that he can be appropriately shogged into a better mood.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Nobody can completely understand him, including other Khtsoyis. I believe nearly all of the incomprehensible words can be replaced by "expletive" here.

Grinwipey is not traff. He is here because he had offended far too many people in Vheshrame. He is under my protection because he is the best embroiderer I have ever known, and, aside from that, he needs a great deal of protection, because he is one of the most offensive people I have ever known.

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Could it be he really cares about you, and just doesn't want to see you get hurt, and you just are being just enough male not to listen?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Cares: definitely.

Not hurt: definitely.

Male: definitely not.

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

You got both parts. It's gotta be a hard balancing trick, though.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I have suitable parts for a Zi Ri, which are not reasonably described as "male plus female".

In any case, they are parts I do not use with Grinwipey.

eww

[rowyn]

Yeah, even if Grinwipey were traff, I can't imagine anyone on board would be traff enough to have him.

Maybe Ysgwyd would've. I dunno. Grinwipey's certainly nothing at all like Delframber!

Re: eww

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I doubt that any of the traff-folk on board would go "eww" to an offer by a suitably pleasant and charming Khtsoyis. By definition.

Inconnu has been known to flirt with Grinwipey, until dissuaded by threats.

[xolo.livejournal.com]

You know, he may have a point. Given the relatively small numbers of Zi-Ri, is there really that much of a body of knowledge about how various poisons will affect them?

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

How about, Male OR female, depending on the season? When are you going to describe zi ri anatomy for us one of these days?? From what I can tell, there are a few type of hermaphrodite species here, and none that seem to do the exact sort of thing that zi ri do (by the vague hints you have given thus far!)

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

How about, Male OR female, depending on the season?

No.

When are you going to describe zi ri anatomy for us one of these days??

Exotic grammar, that. I will not describe it; it is covered in plentiful and enthusiastic detail in a wide variety of reference materials. As I am traff, I feel no particular enthusiasm for description.

From what I can tell, there are a few type of hermaphrodite species here, and none that seem to do the exact sort of thing that zi ri do (by the vague hints you have given thus far!)

Nonetheless, I feel no great need to emigrate.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

I meant to say, we don't have ACCESS to the reference materials! We have access to your journal! And I have been trying to deduce what it IS like by reading about local examples, and they are all off from what you have implied. I strongly do not suggest you emigrate -- all the local hermaphrodite species are animals, and generally pretty dumb ones too (worms, frogs, some fish, stuff like that)!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I am none of those sorts of things! What's more, I don't believe you are, either.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

No, I'm not, but I like biology and anatomy, and if there is any one creature who is definitely designed with finesse and intent, it's zi ri! None of the creatures here are actually so obviously designed; the god(s), such as they are, took a very very hands off approach and set things up so they kind of design themselves in a way that is hard to describe. So that is why I want to know more about zi ri anatomy, sexual or otherwise... and before you say buy a book, no one has put whatever enchantment that lets your (and other Prime) journals be read by my type of monster ON one of the books!

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

You know, I would just assume that participants who eat there just cast a Prevent Poisoning type of spell before going in, just because. That would simplify the whole matter, wouldn't it?

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

... I'm sorry, it took a while for this last message to sink in...

I didn't mean it like that! Your sexual identity is not really what this was about, and I'm sorry I bring it up! Gwinpley looks at you like family, darn it, and family doesn't let family go and get hogswaddled without a good fight about it!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Several of them, and they are harder than the curatives.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

My translator didn't do a good job on 'hogswaddled'. But you're basically right.

[psaakyrn.livejournal.com]

Assuming that they're traditional poisonous mushrooms. I'm almost certain that some mushrooms would be poisonous (in terms of deadly when eaten) via non-biological/chemical means.

It's just like asking someone to cast "Shield All" when going into battle.

Re: Thoughts

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, he'll be happy again once he gets to do his "I told you so" rant in a few entries. ;>

[zeeth_kyrah]

From context of the many comments here over the years, it seems that Sythyry's translator has some form of dimensional access, but perhaps no-one else?

And I'm going to guess there's some form of... unigendered zygote? Eh, I suspect that the kind of necessary research, if it has been conducted, has been conducted through scrying-type spells (or just asking Hren Tzen) rather than the mechanical equipment we would use. Probably much more convenient, that, aside from privacy issues.

Heck, if Sythyry's translator has access to more than a single journal, well. I suppose such a supplemental would be interesting, but not well read on this side of the wall... and I doubt we'd get illustrations for the more structurally complex elements (if there are any). But I do remember a note long ago, stating something like "one for pleasure, one for reproduction" and mentioning intense pain.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

I think Bard just likes taunting those of us with purient interests in his creations. ={

[zeeth_kyrah]

Ah, you mean A Whole Raven And A Half plus Reversed Impact?

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Ordinarily I would take such an uncomplicated outburst from him as rather a bad sign.

But I've completely lost the distinction between the bad signs and the insignificant ones by now...

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

It means he was upset and wanted to be understood. Nothing more.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

[I'm just crap at writing porn. -bb]

[foomf.livejournal.com]

Is he offensive for more than the unusually vulgarity-laden language? He seems like a nice enough entity (for values of "nice" which include loyalty, tolerance, artistry, self-sacrifice, but which exclude mannered speech, manners of personal boundary, and not-being-an-eldritch-nightmare.)

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

He was not terribly nice to my cousin recently. He is a person of distinct and substantial virtues, and equally distinct and substantial vices. He is one of my more troublesome friends and clients, I must say.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Oh, and having gone back to see your actual question: he is sufficiently ill-behaved and ill-spoken to have made himself unacceptable in the Vheshrame Khtsoyis community. This is partially due to matters between him and his former wife, and partially not.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

Oh, right, that had slipped my mind that it was him being quite so overprotective.

Protectiveness of one's friends is a virtue until it becomes a vice.