(no subject)

[sythyry]

Casa Belweldie, part 6, or, rather, Across Saga, part 1 [26 Thory 4261]

Delframber:"Ysgwyd, my dearest ... I think you have ... distressed the noble Zi Ri."

Ysgwyd:"Aww, poor little scaly thing."

Me:"I'm simply wondering about what shape to take. Since I have no clothing for any other shape available."

Ysgwyd:"It's just a traff cafe, Sythers. Not like they'll rape you if you go in there naked. Even the ones that aren't your assumed species."

Ilottat:"Creo ... creabo, rather ... some clothing for you."

Ysgwyd:"Nah, just go Sleeth."

Me:"No!"

Ysgwyd:"Or shoggy!"

Me:"Very no!"

I stopped further discussion by turning into a Herethroy. This seemed the obvious choice, because (1) the body has four feet and thus good balance, and (2) it is wholly unremarkable to see tall insect people around the town. I did not pay much attention to the fact that Herethroy are vegetarian by reason of them getting violently sick if they eat meat.

I noted with some perplexity that, when I am Herethroy, I am a male one. This will not entirely keep me from standing out, since they are the rarest sex of Herethroy.

Ilottat conjured up a sort of kirtle or kilt or chapeau or something of warm blue-green cloth, and the four of us spent several minutes trying with all fifteen manipulative limbs to get it on me. Eventually I conjured up some bone pins. Good enough.

Walking as a giant insect on four legs is easier than walking as an otter on two legs.

Then ... Across Saga. It's a cafe on the third and top floor of a clothing store, on the Street of the Seven-Eyed Gargoyle. Going up stairs is not easier as a four-legged giant insect. Well, maybe it would be, except that I never walk up stairs in Zi Ri form, because (1) nobody makes stairs the right size, and (2) it's not a very good idea to be a small person on the ground. I'd rather fly.

At the door, Across Saga looks like, well, a very ordinary loungeable sort of cafe. Couches, low oval tables. A bookshelf in one corner. An Orren woman playing a harp to a few friends by the fireplace. A bar at which one might order teas, narcotic teas, wines, cookies, grilled mice, or noodles. Various people sitting at tables, in twos and threes and fours. Yes, they were mostly mixed species, but it mostly didn't look very remarkable until you looked closely and noticed that they were more likely to be holding hands or sitting close lover-style or something than different-species couples usually are.

I was quite nervous. Ilottat was downright petrified.

I ordered a skewer of grilled mice to share with him.

Ysgwyd:"Yay, the meat-eating Herethroy!"

Everyone stared. Everyone in the cafe. Everyone in the city, even.

Comments

[collie13.livejournal.com]

Hm... I would think Ysgwyd is rather wearing out her welcome around you. I confess by this point I'd be tempted to smile politely at Ysgwyd and ask her if she's sure she shouted loudly enough for the entire city to have heard? That... or sigh quietly, apologize, and tell the two nice gentlemen it's been lovely, but you really must go floss the cat.

Yes, actually I am waiting with bated breath to see if there's an analogous euphemism in your tongue... ;)

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Maybe she *does* care for Ilottat, more than she lets on?

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

I was wondering that too, if she's a tad jealous and is being snarky for that reason.

Sythyry, are you sure Ilottat is worth it? We monsters have a saying: "He's not the only fish in the sea." Which means something along the lines of, there are more Orren in your tree and perhaps some don't have a wife that is quite so loud and irritating.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Oh, she lives in a different city most of the time, and I think Ilottat's been comporting himself quite impressively tonight!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

He is, in any case, my only first lover currently (or ever) available. I will not abandon him so easily!

Nonsequitorially

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

but you really must go floss the cat

I would love to know where you picked this particular phrase up; I'm curious to know if it wended its way to you via a complicated social network that connects to mine, or if it somehow got into popular culture. :) The first time I heard it
was something like 12 years ago, and the only group of people I've ever heard use it were the people involved in that game, and their immediate friends/social group. I never heard it anywhere else, in all those years since, except from people who were somehow connected to that crowd. Of course, it's been years, and there is the internet. Anyway. Just curious.

Re: Nonsequitorially

[mazlynn.livejournal.com]

The version I'm familiar with is "wax the cat" - same general concept though. And one I've only heard of through a friend in Indiana.

Re: Nonsequitorially

[collie13.livejournal.com]

Heh. I heard it first from a friend with access to Usenet (you know, back when they still used Conestoga wagons to cross the internet? ;), who saw it in an email which listed the 10 best lines for refusing an unwanted date. It was along the line of, "Oh, I'm so sorry -- I'd love to go out with you, but I have to floss the cat that night!"

As a former veterinarian's technician/surgery tech who's actually done dental work on (always anesthetized) dogs and cats, this greatly appealed to my sense of the absurd. I assure you, flossing a conscious cat probably would indeed take all night, if you include your subsequent visit to the emergency room! ;)

Re: Nonsequitorially

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Hey, I pulled Conestoga wagons across the Internet! In the snow! In February! Without wheels! ;)

The situation in the game, IIRC, was a barmaid turning down a date with one of the company grogs (ahhh, Ars Magica). I wonder which came first, the chicken or the egg? :)

Re: Nonsequitorially

[collie13.livejournal.com]

Hey, I pulled Conestoga wagons across the Internet! In the snow! In February! Without wheels! ;)

LOL! Uphill, both ways, right? ;)

Re which came first, the chicken or the grog... I have no idea, but if your incident happened early enough, I'd guess one of the folks in your game somehow slipped it onto the internet?

And you're welcome -- I love stuff like this. ;)

Re: Nonsequitorially

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Darn tootin'!

I suspect that it got "quoteboarded" online, and then got moved around on Usenet. Possibly in someone's sig file or something. :) It's so cool.

Re: Nonsequitorially

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

And, er, thanks! :)