(no subject)

[sythyry]

Two hats [11 Thory 4261]

Well! It seems that many monsters have opinions on hats!

It also seems that many friends of mine have many opinions on hats as well.

Esory:"I'd love to see you in an Orren-style flat hat, Sythyry! For ulterior reasons!"

Me:"What reasons are those?"

Esory:"If I explained, they would be immediately cease to be ulterior."

* * *

Thory:"I cannot image anything cuter than a Zi Ri in a fez!"

Yarwain:"This worries me, Thory."

Thory:"Why?"

Yarwain:"I understand that babies are intolerable, with cuteness being their only virtue. If Sythyry in a fez is still cuter, then our child is doomed!"

Thory:"Oh." She dumped a chalice of milked wine with pondygreen over Yarwain's head.

Yarwain:"See what joys await you when your mate gets pregnant!" Fortunately he mostly said that to Anoof. I cringed anyways. The very thought hurts.

* * *

Anoof:"Get the romantic cone hat, Sythyry."

Me:"Why?"

Anoof:"If you do, I can all but guarantee you that at least one Orren will be trying to kiss you before the week is out."

Me:"Are you serious, Anoof?"

Anoof:"Fairly much so, yes. I think it will improve your chances immensely. Beyond all reason, in fact."

* * *

Seeks-Tapenade Strenata:"I like my hat. Here, try it on."

Me:[muffled]"It's too big."

Seeks-Tapenade:"I'm sure you'll get used to it."

Me:[muffled]"I'm sure I'll set it on fire."

Seeks-Tapenade:"Then give it back immediately!"

* * *

Rhedwy:"Sythyry, you are the silly. The hat does not make you successful at sex. The not running away from the sex party makes you successful at sex."

Me:"Love. I am looking for love, not merely sex."

Rhedwy:"Very are you the silly! Have sex first. Then you know love if it comes and boils your tail. If it never does, then at least you are having plenty of sex."

Me:"Ah. I shall surely consult with my monsters about that one."

* * *

Me:"So, I wish to exceed my usual clothing allowance for this month -- borrowing against next month, as it were."

Official of Disbursements:"Well, various arrangements are possible; I shall look over your account. What will you buy?"

Me:"A very elegant hat, or two. Suitable for court, as per my ~mother~'s instructions, of course."

O. of D.:"What sort of hat?"

I described my choices to zir. "And that is why I may buy two hats."

O. of D.:"I should buy the cone and the coronet, if I were you."

Me:"Many monsters do not agree with you on the coronet!"

O. of D.:"You discuss your sartorial preferences with monsters?"

Me:[Airily]"Why, of course -- dozens of them! Don't you?"

O. of D.:"I'm afraid I come from a more workaday sort of background than you."

Me:"Can it be arranged?"

O. of D.:"Since you have not, to date, used the whole of your clothing allowance in any month, I can apply some of your previous monies to this month."

* * *

So now I have two hats on order: a romantic cone thingie, and a fez. The romantic cone thingie is as Anoof wished. The fez ... the fez ... the fez will have a shimmering wash of pastel rainbow colors cascading down one side. Why only one side? I do not know. Will I be able to look at myself in a mirror without laughing? I do not know.

If Anoof is not right about the Orren, I shall stuff the fez with offirrah and feed it to him.

Comments

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

I hope that the hat helps others to realize how special you are.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I admit to some scepticism about this...

[cowboy-r.livejournal.com]

A fez is the very height of fashion, particularly among those who drive miniature vehicles!

As proof, a leader on our world (Ataturk; I'm not making this up) outlawed them!

[(Anonymous)]

I would think Rhedwy is onto something. Though I seriously doubt her explanation is entirely sensible from where you stand. One must court a lover for sex, lest they conclude you are merely looking to be a friend and thus ensure that they will never give you the sex and leave you in an utterly unrequited position for far too long. But to succeed at that, you should be reasonably blase about the sex. Which of course, requires having some taste of the subject. If you are not blase about the sex, as is the case with all those who have never had any and who's expectations are perhaps unreasonable, you are liable to make a horrible mess of the whole thing and look rather silly for your trouble. It is maybe worth it to lower your standards quite a bit if only to be able to raise them effectively later than to have high standards and be consistantly unable to meet them.

This is, however, no excuse for inviting one to a sex party without explaining to one that it is, in fact, a sex-party. I know few who would fail to flee such an awkward predicament.
And it is akin to bringing someone from a land known for it's bland food and serving up a dish of extremely intense spices. It will not be appreciated. One's first taste of peppers must be cautious and relatively mild, and an appreciation of spice does not need to imply the development of a tolerance for flaming hot red spice pepper extracts.

Further, I would not restrain yourself to Orren for a start. After all, you seem to have a serious shortage of attractive and willing Orren on hand currently, wheras I can think of more than one you have mentioned who might be amicable to a bit of a fling if that limitation were removed.

[striderhlc.livejournal.com]

Rhedwy certainly doesn't mince words.

- HC

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

She does not! Acquaintances, though. She minces those.

[stryck.livejournal.com]

I am in favor of love over sex, but this does mean that sex will be a long time coming while you try to find the right love.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Likely so.

[Sythyry puts on the official mysterious Zi Ri voice:] "Time, at least, I have a great deal of."

[Back to the regular voice:] "Patience, though..."

[stryck.livejournal.com]

We monsters have a prayer, "God, give me patience, and make it soon!"

May it be useful to you.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

[Bard muses before sending this, but Sythyry was very disturbed by that advice. The concepts of 'god', 'prayer', and 'give me patience' are a bit different in the two worlds.... here it is, and apologies in advance.]

I could do the same prayer, but, well, it's about as safe and socially acceptable as masturbating with a knife-blade in the public square. I daresay whichever god manages mind-control spells for you is a bit nicer than Birkozon.

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

hehehehe. "Not running away from the sex party makes you successful at sex!" I'll have to remember that one. p)

Not Running Away From A Sex Party?

[allessindra.livejournal.com]

So, did I miss something? Did Sythyry flee a sex party, or did Rhedwy?

Having been chilled in my house recently, I huddled under the covers and muttered to myself 'seeking... warmth'. And so I wondered if Strenata ever sought warmth, and in vain...

Re: Not Running Away From A Sex Party?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I did, back in Hispis. Rhedwy was one of the hosts.

Strenata has a good fireplace in her bedroom -- I used to spend hours there! I am pretty sure she has not needed to seek warmth in certain fun ways, or else she was lying about her sexual purity to me. Which might be the case.