sythyry | (no subject)

The Fate of Pazi-Pazi [27 Thory 4261]

The previous plan for Pazi-Pazi was that she would (1) move in with us, and (2) pay rent. In particular, she was supposed to pay an extravagantly high rent, nineteen times the rent that the primes pay. We believed that we could get away with this because, being nonsentient, Pazi-Pazi is presumably easier to fool than most presumably intelligent people.

Unfortunately, we were thwarted.

Ghirbis:"Pazi-Pazi, the time has come for us to discuss your new living arrangements."

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Ghirbis:"We have decided accept your mouse-hunting duties as a partial payment of your rent. Indeed, as eleven-twelfths of your rent! I trust that this brings you great happiness!"

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Ghirbis:"The remainder, consisting of a pittance of thirteen thousand lozens, shall be paid in full on the first and fourteenth of each month."

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Ghirbis:"Furthermore, since you have refused to state a single objection as the rest of us picked out our rooms, there is but a single choice remaining to you, which is to say, you must share Sythyry's room."

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Me:"Ghirbis! That is not our plan! We had planned to have her sleep on the chimney-mouth!"

Pazi-Pazi:[Pazi-Pazi remains silent, but nuzzles Ghirbis' ankle.]

Me:"Ah, I see how it is. You curry favor with her --- her, who surely conspires to use you as a prop in her next opera! Whereas you conspire against me --- me, who on more than one occasion saved your fuzzy tail from being devoured by a scyanturge! Is this betrayal? Or is it treachery? Or is it, perhaps, a fine blend of betrayal and treachery in a cream and brandy sauce?"

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Ghirbis:"Pazi-Pazi --- do you accept these arrangements? Or do you have anything else to add?"

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Ghirbis:"Then it is decided, by a vote of twenty-seven to one. As we have agreed, you shall live in the dungeon and devour any monsters that come through."

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Me:"Ghirbis, one day you will make a very dangerous negotiator. The next day they will figure out that you changed the records of the deal, and will kill you four times."

Pazi-Pazi:"..."

Ghirbis:"Very likely true. Until then, I have my allies."

Pazi-Pazi:[pounces my tail while I am looking at Ghirbis, and draws blood.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Perhaps after she finishes drawing blood, she can draw some nice flowers on you, too.

one would think, considering pazi-pazi's love of stalking you, that yours would be the LAST room she should be sleeping in!

One would have to be less insidious than my evil roommate Ghirbis to think of such things!

*considers rounding up Elfie and Cricket and discussing rent with them now*

Charming idea!

I do have to wonder where Pazi's lozens would theoretically come from in order to pay theoretical rent.

Pazi-Pazi: "..."

Pazi Pazi is really Flokin in disguise, and the lozens would be made of solid fire rather than amber, and horrendously burn anyone who refused to accept them as legal tender.

This explains everything! The conflagration in the kitchen last month ... the fate of Dubaille's whiskers ... why, when she scratches me, she leaves burn marks rather than claw marks ... her willingness to accept Ghirbis' rent proposal ... Strenata's indifference to me ... why Choinxeia fell off the World Tree a couple months back ... everything!

*bandages your tail*

*swoons gently*

*feeds Pazi-Pazi the World Tree equivalent of Salmon*