The Terrors of Tarragina (addendum)

[sythyry]

Mirrored from Sythyry.

A copy of The Terrors of Tarragina was duly procured (from Vind — I refuse to allow more teasing of Alzagonde until she does something else horrible). The crudely-imagined and crudely-drawn cover shows a nearly-naked, voluptuous, and quite aroused Herethroy woman, holding a crowbar in a midhand, staring at it as if it were a serpent about to bite her. Beside her are four very full washbasins, one overflowing, and a Cani man with a hammer in one hand and a tremendous erection visible under his skirt.

I, sacrifically, read the cursed thing, since I have plenty of time on my paws when I want it.

Tarragina is the sixth daughter of a countess of Barency. She has a single passion in life: “rejoicining in elegant circumstances”. Through a sequence of misfortunes too implausible to mention, her family loses fortune and title in chapter two. (OK, I’ll mention the guntry race. They’ve got a prize running-guntry that always wins every race. They bet their last village on the guntry in a race against a stranger — who turns out to be a wizard, whose guntry is a transformed air elemental, and wins in a whoosh. Somehow they neglect to mention that this may be considered cheating.)

Anyhow, by chapter 3, Tarragina is condemned to wander the city and country in a life of toil, a thing which she finds utterly abhorrent. She picks up odd jobs here and there — helping a Cani family demolishing a shed in chapter five (hence the crowbar), and washing clothes for some Herethroy farmers in chapter eight (hence the basins). In each case, she attempts the job briefly throws up her hands and hand-feet at how horrid and vulgar it is, and, um, renegotiates the arrangement to be one in which she performs bodily pleasures upon her employers rather than having to do the work. Then, for reasons unspecified, she is off at a different employer the next chapter, evidently the next day.

For a bit of socioprosody of my own: the description of the chapter’s circumstances take 1-3 paragraphs. The attempts at performing the job, and Tarragina’s abhorrence thereof, take another 3-5. The seduction of the employer takes a single paragraph more. The rest of each chapter — five to fifteen pages — is a description of the encounter.

For what it’s worth: About half the time she’s involved with Herethroy, and half with other species. Nobody seems to find this the least bit noteworthy — not that there is much actual conversation involved.

Also, a half-page of action from chapter 5 appears again, word for word, in chapter 21. Perhaps the author did not think anyone would read that far. In any case, it was dull the first time, and extra-dull the second.

I cannot recommend the book, either as literature, pornography, or a source of threats.

Comments

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

I'm curious as to whether Grinwipey would need to have done in order to come up with what he did, or if one glance at the cover would have told him everything his threats touched on that actually came from the book. In the latter case, his point that if he was a steward, he'd have chanced to see it, certainly holds.

Not really that important, though. (And I'm not trying to suggest that Grinwipey would go out of his way to read traff porn in any case, his opinion on such matters being abundantly - and unusually - clear.)

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Grinwipey did not read the book; he looked at the cover, and, according to him, opened up to the middle and read page one-hundred-and-fifty-fuck.

[relee.livejournal.com]

Ahh, so neither Grinwipey or Big Not-a-Traff Al read the book, so they both had the same sort of images of the use of wash basins as I did. Yeah.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

What on wood did you think they were used for? I admit I had no idea.

[foomf.livejournal.com]

My first thought was "something involving four Khyotsis, possibly an Orren, and lots of lubricant" and my second thought was "where did I put that bottle of brain-bleach"?

Note: we do not actually have brain-bleach, it's a metaphor for 'some sadly unavailable product to allow the user to cleanse their mind and spirit of an image that insists on staying around but was unwelcome in the first place.'

[relee.livejournal.com]

I'm going to go with foomf's brain bleach reccomendation, but if you really want to have fun, try to tie-dye your brain with a rainbow pattern.

[allessindra.livejournal.com]

page one-hundred-and-fifty-fuck

Now my cat is concerned as to why I'm laughing this loud at this time of day.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

[Bard beams, but attempts to explain matters to your cat.]