Life In Oorah Thrassen: Cisaffection [22 Lage 4385]

[sythyry]

Mirrored from Sythyry.

This part bothers me a great deal. I was debating not writing it down at all, and trying to forget it. But I do not want to be dishonest, even to myself … maybe especially to myself.

Which is a problem. Either I have been very dishonest, to myself and everyone else, for my whole life, or I am now being very dishonest, to myself and everyone else. I wish I knew which it was.

Saza: “So, coz, after a long day in which I have shown you all the ways in which I am taking care of your problems — in response to you taking care of all of my problems — and after an excellent if underdescribed dinner prepared by an expert Cani chef in my employ who is actually used to cooking for Zi Ri — and several tots of brandy — let us retire to bed. Indeed, coz, let us curl up together as we have done before, but this time in my capacious and comfortable fireplace, because it is simply good manners for Zi Ri.”

Sythyry: “Indeed, we have done all of these things, and so let us make that particularly pleasant and companionable sort of end for a particularly pleasant and companionable sort of day.” [Sythyry is indeed writing "Sythyry" rather than "Me" here. -bb]

Saza ran zir beak down my neck, and curled up with me in a somewhat distinctive and demonstrative way.

Saza: “It need not be quite the end of the day. And if my seductive intent is not clear enough, please observe where my tailtip is resting upon your languid body.”

Sythyry: “But … you are suggesting body-play! With me!”

Saza: “I am, indeed, as is common-place and polite between Zi Ri who are as close together as I hope that you and I are! As you are no doubt aware, Sythyry, body-play between Zi Ri cousins is no great concern, since it is not reproductive (that being a different and far more painful matter) and hence simply a matter of entertainment and sharing of affection.” Well, the actual response was more of a smile and a quick affirmative.

Sythyry: “An eep! Perhaps two or three!”

Saza: “Do you know what will happen if you refuse my advances?”

Sythyry: “Um … you’ll break our arrangements and ruin my revenge and torment Feralan and Ochirion and …”

Saza: “Worse than that.”

Sythyry: “You’ll tell all our grandparents … um … something … um … if there’s anything they don’t know …”

Saza: “Worse than that!”

Sythyry: “Wizard-war with me?”

Saza: “Worse than that! I’ll kiss you on the cheek and go to sleep!”

Sythyry: “Um, what?”

Saza: “I’m really a pretty old lizard. I’ve had crushes on all sorts of people, and more often than not they turn me down, and I’m not about to make enemies out of good friends and close relatives over it. But I did feel like offering, and I can see that at least part of you is interested. It’s fine if the rest of you isn’t.”

Sythyry: “I’m traff. And transaffectionate. And interested in all the prime species except my own. And crossie. And traff. And I always have been. “

Saza: “Sure you don’t want to take a walk on the mild side, coz?”

Sythyry: “… I’m … not sure … “

Saza: “It’s up to you, coz.”

A Quick Debate on the Nature of Love and Pleasure

Sythyry to Me: “I am sort of curious what it’s like.”

Me to Sythyry: “Probably a lot like when Mynthë and I tried it a century or so ago, with Cloak of Another God.”

Sythyry to Me: “Saza’s really wonderful.”

Sythyry to Me: “Cementing our alliance is probably a good idea.”

Sythyry to Me: “I have been neglecting certain regions of my body too much the last few decades, as my eagerness and indeed near-desperation with Thenel and Arfaen indicated.”

Me to Sythyry: “And my current eagerness too!”

Sythyry to Me: “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it — it’s perfectly normal — two people of the same species enjoying each other in private — happens all the time — normal — unremarkable — ordinary!”

Me to Sythyry: “It’s not how I do things!”

Sythyry to Me: “Why on wood not?”

Me to Sythyry: “Because I am traff!”

Sythyry to Me: “I do not accept tautological reasoning!”

Sythyry to Me: “Especially tautological reasoning that is interfering with enjoyment of an appealing and, above all, friendly lover!”

Sythyry to Me: “One who even, unlike everyone else I’ve been involved with in the last long time, is sane. “

Me to Sythyry: “I am not interested in lovers of the same species as me!”

Sythyry to Me: “Besides, it’s not love, it’s just body-play. Traff, construed strictly in the classical sense, is about whom one loves, as I did Mynthë. This is an only invitation to mutual pleasure.”

Me to Sythyry: “Mutual pleasure with a person with whom I have certain strong ties of relationship already! If it’s not love now, it has an indefinite amount of time to evolve towards it!”

Sythyry to Me: “Or in any number of other directions! In any event, Saza did not offer a same-species marriage or anything of the sort; zie merely offered a spot of amusement. Which, if I recognize certain unmistakeable bodily signs, is amusement that you are eager for as well.”

Me to Sythyry: “My body is not acting under my instructions in this regard!”

Sythyry to Me: “Your body is simply reflecting your actual emotions and passions! You may lie to yourself — I am sure that half this conversation has been a lie, though it would be convenient to know which half — but I do not think you can lie to your body.”

Me to Sythyry: “Well, we’d better give Saza an answer, and that answer must be a resounding and unmistakable NO!“

L’Après-Debate

Sythyry: “… show me, coz? I’ve never done this before with another Zi Ri … “

Saza: (does. expertly.)

Sythyry: (enjoys. participates, after a while.)

I was sure, even while I was enjoying and/or participating, that there was going to be Doom, as soon as I started to think about it.

Next entry: a very nervous theoretical analysis of the situation.

Comments

[kobolds.livejournal.com]

I don't see why being traff has to exclude your own species. Are things really than binary over there that you have to either like your own species, or all the other prime species but your own?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Yes! Absolutely! There are two choices: your own species, or all the others!

[Or that's the position Sythyry's been taking, anyways. Time for zir to re-examine that axiom... -bb]

[kobolds.livejournal.com]

Okay, so if the definition of cisaffection is to only love your own species that obviously can't apply to a Zi-Ri with a hankerin' for some Orren. Also as the definition of transaffection is to love the other seven prime species you can't be traff and like Zi-Ri.

So why not invent something new, something even wrong-er. Inventh Sythaffection, the ability to love and enjoy the company of all eight prime species.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

And possibly monsters. There were those norren, after all.

[kobolds.livejournal.com]

Let's not break Sythyry too much all at once, after all we'll need something if we're to ever tempt zie over to all our monstrous ways

[rowyn]

And in your entire 125+ years of being active in the traff community you have never ever met even a single Prime who even ONCE enjoyed bodyplay with members of their own species as well as others! No never!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

They weren't really traff.

...

Maybe I'm not either.

[sianmink.livejournal.com]

Oh dear.

[elorie.livejournal.com]

So you think all of your strong bonds of affection and enjoyment of body-play with members of other species were an illusion? or your enjoyment of your time with Saza? Which was it?

How about this: You have a theory that you have to be one or the other. You've been presented with concrete evidence that that isn't so. Time to revise the theory.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

... maybe both?

[Sythyry may revise the theory, but zie's not usually very fast at that sort of thing. -bb]

[delight-in.livejournal.com]

Weeeell I did have an Orren friend who thought he was in love with a Herethroy for a little while when he was an adolescent. Then when he got older he realized he was cis and was terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and has never dated anyone but Orren since.

Maybe traff was just a phase Sythyrs went through and it just seemed like a long time to be in a phase because zir species lives so much longer and it really wasn't that much time in the whole scale of zir life?

[elorie.livejournal.com]

I am a dedicated priestess of a goddess of love and sexuality (among other things). It dishonors Her gifts when you deny them; you don't have to act on them, but pretending they didn't happen is right out. Having a crush on someone as an adolescent is a life-shaping experience, and doesn't stop being so just because the person grows into other affections. Omnia vincit amor.

[mmsword.livejournal.com]

O Zi Ri, some more courses in logic at the Academy may have better suited you, but it is not too late to learn that there aren't any true Scotsman.

[rowyn]

Does that mean Arfaen isn't really traff because she's slept with other Cani?

Or is it that one is "not really traff/cis" based on which sex act one has engaged in most recently? Eg, several decades of traff love is erased and one instantly becomes cis if one's latest encounter was cis? Whereas a Rassimel who was happily married to a Rassy for 50 years was never really cis if she takes an Orren lover two years after the death of her spouse?

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Well.. to be completely fair, there are even people in this world that have reactions like that..

Not that it isn't as silly here as this is there...

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

You're being ridiculous.

[No, you're asking good questions.]

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

We have, I believe(some value of "we" that at least includes "me", been suggesting for some time that this might not be such an absolute as you've apparently learned, hmmm?

If it feels good, do it - ethics permitting, of course; if it involves hurting someone, then try to avoid it unless there's a very good reason. But as far as body-play is concerned... yeah. If it feels good and everyone involved consents, just do it. Don't mess with the labels, they just get in the way.