Podcast/self-publish that mother... *then* take those download/sales numbers to a publisher next year. A lot of publishers nowadays want to see that a book can sell first before they pick it up.
Or getting someone with a nice voice to read it for you. Gosh, I can't think of anyone who fits that description, and would be willing to do it for you. Not anyone. Thinking, thinking, think... wait! What about... no. Sorry. I got nuttin'.
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