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Jun. 13th, 2009 01:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sythyryKidnapped! [17 Hispis 4385]
Nangbang's Reply
Nangbang sent me his answer almost instantly:
Sythyry! You are a traitor of honor, you are a traitor of friendship, you are a traitor of the camaraderie of devotion to the god Accanax! May each of our feathers be devoured by a separate furious chub-beetle! Not only do you steal the attention of the dark god that was properly intended for a native wizard, but you have the utter unmitigated overbrewed tea to kidnap my daughter! Additionally, you are a spineless and amygdalate weasel of evasion and cowardice! In your obliquely-worded and pusillanimous missive, you take pains to gloat extensively of your capture of my defenseless daughter, but you miss the key feature of the etiquette of kidnappers everywhere! You have not named your price. Well, I can start the negotiations as well as you can. I offer seventeen thousand lozens and a promise not to seek immediate revenge. But this crime cannot go unpunished forever, you infamous squamous menace! -- Nangbang, who is not as powerless as you might think!
I am fairly sure he was Wild Rushing while he was writing this -- the letters are scribbled and frantic. Which is reasonable if he thinks I kidnapped his daughter, I suppose. Still, I hereby swear off Orren for life again ... none too impressive an oath, as I haven't so much as kissed one diligently in years.
Kzip's Reply
Kzip took only a moment longer, and took a rather different approach towards utterly misunderstanding my utterly clear letter:
Oh, that's all right. Dorze is a fine spell-scribe, but I can spare him for a while. Do I understand properly that you have some spell that you're planning to teach him and have him copy? If it's an interesting spell, and if you bring him back home in -- let us say -- two months, I can count the spell as the price of his subindenture. Let me know. Sorry (and, honestly, just a bit miffed) that you couldn't arrange this with me personally when you were in Oorah Thrassen. But I suppose that making arrangements with the Destroyer of All takes precedence. Anyhow,
I don't think she read more than a dozen words in my letter; she filled in the rest with what she would have done in my place.
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Date: 2009-06-13 05:56 pm (UTC)You need to invent a spell to bottle up the Doom you attract. I'm sure it would prove most valuable in whatever war you're next involved with.
-Alexandra
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Date: 2009-06-13 09:08 pm (UTC)1: Give Nangbang a few days to stop rushing, and since it would be unfair and insulting to respond to Kzip and not Nangbang, wait an equal amount of time for both.
2: Give up on all primes. Get a trained parrot or something. Just make sure it isn't a DOOM parrot or a DOOM something.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 06:21 pm (UTC)Also, you could send a note to Saza asking zir to explain the situation to zir compatriots. This is partly Saza's fault anyway, zie may as well suffer for it too.
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Date: 2009-06-13 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 06:47 pm (UTC)Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-13 06:35 pm (UTC)Given your reading comprehension ability I can see why the dark god wouldn't deign to give you the time of day, much less an audience. Your daughter's presence is not due to my actions so I thought to give you the opportunity to decide what is best to be done with her, but I can see you are not worthy of such determination. Perhaps you should beg the dark god to tell you what happens to her, since it is now entirely out of your hands.
Well, you certainly shouldn't send that unless you feel like you could use a lot more Doom.
Re: Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-13 06:39 pm (UTC)Re: Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-13 06:48 pm (UTC)Re: Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-13 09:21 pm (UTC)Re: Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-13 09:35 pm (UTC)Re: Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-15 07:30 pm (UTC)Re: Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-15 07:46 pm (UTC)Re: Not the letter you should send
Date: 2009-06-15 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 06:45 pm (UTC)And I think that taking the stowaways back is pointless at this juncture -- and, in fact, at any other juncture. The Oorah Thrassen wizards were obviously going to assume bad faith no matter what you did or when you did it. If you take them back, at the very best, they will take that as an admission of guilt on your part, and still try to revenge themselves and/or extort some kind of 'repayment' from you for your supposed wrongdoings. That's the best case scenario. That they will believe the clear and obvious truth? Impossible.
And the whole mess is really their fault. If Nangbang had been a good father and Kzip a good mistress, their wayward charges wouldn't be stowing away on your ship in the first place!
I'm just sayin'.
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Date: 2009-06-13 08:40 pm (UTC)Of course, I also like "getting Saza to explain".
-Alexandra
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Date: 2009-06-13 11:56 pm (UTC)To Kzip la Hish: Thank you for your concern; Dorze managed to elude me for several days during his acts of misdirection. I shall indeed cast several appropriate spells upon him as you suggest. I do reiterate, I must send him back on his own if you wish him returned within the stated time, as my itinerary takes me rather out of the way. On my return journey, I am sure that we can meet again in Oorah Thrassen, at which time we can more easily revisit the matter of your sending your servant to spy on my more private efforts.
To Nangbang: Sir, sneaking your child on board my skyboat was a base act, and you should have consulted with me before doing it. While I can appreciate that she was troublesome to you, there was no need to send her away to Srineia as you have designed to do. Your belated offer to pay for her passage is quite generous, however; and so I am inclined to overlook your trespass, and will ensure that any funds outside of the fare I would have normally charged will go to her directly. As an aside, you might consider whether Accanax appreciates that your devotion took the form of this destructive act toward your own family, and whether your favour among all those you worship might increase or decrease as a result.
And to Sythyry: I'd follow it up by having your crew train these lovers in useful skills; Dorze could also probably benefit greatly from a short course in the essentials of wizardry as opposed to scribing -- "Magic in a Present Time" comes to mind. Also, giving (or selling) him The Raven's Beak might be vital to his future well-being.
And if the diplomatic situation deteriorates sufficiently (it presumably will), go ahead and play a game of Frustration. Since they were spoiling for an excuse, an honest and warning note to someone useful in Veshram (like the Duke, mayhaps) might be prescient in helping to spoil any surprise wars in the offing.
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Date: 2009-06-13 08:40 pm (UTC)Though in the meanwhile you should at least take some advantage of their misunderstanding. rowyn's suggestions are a good start!
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Date: 2009-06-13 08:50 pm (UTC)So what should you do? I'd recommend finding a nice, cuddly orren for a few weeks of sympathetic conversation. Ideally one who can also cook. It sounds like you need a vacation from your vacation.
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Date: 2009-06-13 08:51 pm (UTC)I doubt suicide would help. Accanax would merely have to wait until you were reincarnated. I would advise instead relaying the tale, with the responses, to someone else in hopes that they might later vouch for you when those aggrieved do something hasty and poorly thought out. Or if nothing else so they might swoop in to rescue you at some dramatic moment in order to cap off what would then become an excellent amusing anecdote.
In the meanwhile, offer Dorze some spell-scribing work at significantly better rates than Kzip was offering, and pay in amber.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-13 08:58 pm (UTC)*sigh*
Date: 2009-06-13 09:49 pm (UTC)Writing short clear notes is unlikely to help. These people sound like they are not in a mood to be reasonable. That also takes out option #2 as useful.
Playing along would only make things worse.
Returning the stowaways in person is the SAFEST response. Are the offended parties credible threats to a wizard of your skill, motility, and longevity? If not, this option is probably not worthwhile. If they are credible threats, do you value your personal (and crew) safety over other concerns? If so, this option is advisable.
Giving people a few days to calm down is probably a good idea. It helps more often than it makes matters worse.
Sending Grinwipey back is tempting, but unlikely to do other than amuse Accanax more than is good for anyone's health. Same with asking Vae for help, which I entertaining to my own amusement, before discarding as regrettably imprudent. I suppose if they take to harassing you for a problem not of your making, you could always remind them that you have a nendrai to whom you could complain.
Placing curses on the stowaways is revenge, not recompense. Extra chores would be in order, though -- and definitely another daughter-to-father explanation of the non-kidnapping. Is there a way to put a verification on a letter so that the recipient will KNOW it's true, without using nasty Mentador?
As for giving up on primes, I can see the temptation, but immortals have a certain responsibility to provide a good example for those of shorter span.
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Date: 2009-06-13 09:59 pm (UTC)I would suspect you of having offended a Chinese god, but then I realize that it would be redundant given the nature of the deities in your universe.
I agree with ysabet; the martial art of words says, since you are out of immediate reach, the best response is to wait for their energy to spin itself down.
And as I was thinking about what to say after a suitable cooling-off period came along, I had a horrible, horrible thought about the dangers of having Vae create the envelopes.
Was the message the same when it got there as when it left you?
Are they responding reasonably to what they actually read?
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Date: 2009-06-13 10:27 pm (UTC)Sounds like they're making you the Casus Belli
Also, I should note this is what happens when you try to avoid taking a moral stand out of concern for the wrongdoers' feelings.
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Date: 2009-06-13 11:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 02:49 am (UTC)Oooh, actually, considering how most envelopes are opened, perhaps it would be better to place them in a sealed scroll tube.
I would definitely consider requesting insurance, however. Possibly return signature requested as well.
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Date: 2009-06-14 05:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-14 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-15 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-15 05:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-15 04:14 pm (UTC)