(no subject)

[sythyry]

Moral Quandary of the Day [17 Hispis 3285]

The moral quandary of the day is not how to treat Vae. The philosophers made a few suggestions. Vae absolutely refuses to the suggestions which are hers to do -- e.g., it would be very helpful if she announced her presence with a display of miniature fireworks and the scent of burning violins or something. With that, everyone would be constantly aware of her presence, and would be careful to watch what they say. Vae rejected the idea as undignified and immodest and humiliating. I am not quite sure why someone who generally lounges around the yacht in the shape of a snake with seven butterfly wings thinks this, but there you are.

She might, however, try to map the borders of her most unfortunate compulsion. A brave, brave volunteer (Yerenthax?) will make increasingly importunate requests for assistance, and we will learn just how much self-control Vae has before being helpful. Perhaps, in time and with practice, Vae will be able to increase her self-control. I expect to spend many days fixing our brave, brave volunteer.

(After which, we sent the philosophers and their monsters on their way. Grinwipey emphatically exclaimed at how they had cheated me, and how it would be choons with glorzy jelly if he could cheat people so easily out of so much.)

No, the actual moral problem is this.

We (and by 'we' I exclude myself) were at lunch in the galley, enjoying a very fancy salad buffet made by Calla the night chef, who is, once again, compelled to be diurnal. Calla had prepared a batch of herring croquettes for those who need to eat meat.

Lithia:(Orren phase)"These are very good herring croquettes."

Thiane: (waitress of the meal) "I'll be sure to tell our poor kitchen-slave Calla that you said so."

Lithia:"Inconnu?"

Inconnu: [Looking at Lithia with his mouth full of croquette.] "Oh no, what, what?"

Lithia:"The croquettes are delicious. Also, they are filling, being composed of herring, powdered biscuit, pureed turnip, butter, and eggs, and then deep-fried. A few of them would be quite filling indeed, especially for people who have been complaining about hunger lately."

Kantele:"Who on wood has been complaining about hunger lately? Calla and Arfaen have been cooking constantly -- to say nothing of Mellilot, Thiane, Blenny, Inconnu, Tingula, Umbers, Zascalle, and the boys. I imagine I'll be begging Grinwipey for new clothes by the time we get to Srineia, and that is not many more days."

Lithia:"Never mind. They're just excellent herring croquettes."

Inconnu:"Right! They are!" He emptied half the tray of croquettes into his purse.

Kantele:"Inconnu! Are you the greedy glutton today, or were you just been immersed up to your ears in the Astral Sea of Rudeness as an infant? What on wood was that about?" (I do not know about any such mystical realm as that.)

Inconnu:"NO! It's not what you're thinking!"

Kantele:"A remarkable utterance. Would you care to tell me what I am thinking, as well as what the truth of the situation is?"

Lithia: [sighing] "Inconnu!"

Grinwipey:"Stinking little excuse for a skeef-wronching butter-and-bread you are, Inconnu!"

Inconnu:"No!"

Kantele:"Oh, my. Grinwipey's involved in whatever-this-is, too. This can't be good."

Grinwipey:"It ain't stuffed-up-Mircannis'-yanabloonie bad either."

Kantele:"You'd better tell me more."

Grinwipey:"Aw, sure thing, old woman. Up in the Cathay row, the lizard breath asked us, 'Hey, these these foozers are all on the scuddery vay, and they're nearly ready to be vimpered and get the glootie, so go ratch them, spango?' So we're like 'Dotch, dotch, we're rostic with the mangeree baking in the skates-and-sled , and the old limp-and-sink is coming with the cley.' And got told back, 'Razzers, but the gin-dorms are full of gin, and the snapping's coming up with flattery!' So we says, 'Nah, the frain can dummel on the pancakes, we're not a delivery service, but maybe we are.' So it's no gnawing on anyone's fudd-whucker, see?"

Kantele:"In point of fact, I do not, as you so eloquently phrase it, 'see'."

Lithia blinked at Grinwipey. "I was there too, I've been getting swearing lessons from you, and I didn't understand what you said."

Grinwipey peered one eyestalk at her. "Cathay Row is Ketheria, see? Skates-and-sled is from rhyming, you can figure that out."

Kantele:"Lithia! Perhaps you would be so good as to explain the situation."

Lithia:"Um ... can I talk to my stepmother? Zie's probably going to understand a bit better..."

Kantele:"Pleading with Sythyry for mercy already? What trouble have you caused now?"

Comments

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Strange, I was just thinking this seemed like Cockney rhyming slang, only more... opaque. As if such a thing were possible.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

[A little of it is based on Cockney rhyming slang, and a lot of it is words that vaguely suggest something, and a lot more of it is the first thing that pops into my head. It's about as clear to you as it is to Sythyry -- which is to say, it's not something that I expect you to decode no matter how clever you are. -bb]

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Just something about the cadence of it. Or maybe for some reason I think of Grinwipey speaking in the voice of Jason Statham.

[rowyn]

I was going to suggest that the translator do a bit more translating on Grinwipey, but now I am afflicted with the urge to write my own rhyming cant instead. @_@ It'll pass without me doing anything. I'm sure.

[waywind.livejournal.com]

Dang! Here I'd thought for all this time that Grinwipey's words were wholly improvised as you went along. I am impressed!

[tracerj.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded of one particular character (meta-character, really, it's the actor who plays several similar characters) from a favourite show who hams up a really atrocious faux-Cockney mess of dialogue all finished up with the phrase, "I'm a Cockney!" just to hang the old lampshade on it.

(For others stuck in the same unfortunate plane and planet as I am, the show is "The Mighty Boosh" and it is highly recommended if you like absurd humour. It's like if they did a Monty Python cartoon but in live-action and with a more cohesive episodic plot.)