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[sythyry]

A Round of Introductions (Or Something) [7 Hispis 4385]

Mostly they went very politely.

Me:"Este, I'd like you to meet my long-lost cousin Sazandigraa. Saza, please meet Este, who is the Supreme Repairiste of That Which Is Splintered Assunder."

(Yes, we are on thusly informal terms already.)

Este:"It is my honor to meet you, Lord Sazandigraa."

Saza:"And it gives me great comfort to know that, should aught be splintered assunder in my dear coz' mysterious voyage, a Rassimel man of skill and dignity will be on hand to swiftly desplinter it."

See? It's not actually all that hard to be polite.

But sometimes this happens. Saza was sitting on Ochirion's shoulder, having just been introduced to the lad.

Me:"Grinwipey, I'd like [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"I know what you'd like best, but my fudd-whucker ain't getting anywhere near your zoozoo."

Me:"That's not [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"So I'll give you what you'd like second best, and me I'd like first best. Got my clubs right here, got your cousin right there. Ochirion, throw that lizard inna air, and we'll have some three-club music in whango-jango time!"

Me:"Grinwipey, I don't want [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"Hey there, red and feathery! What kind of flowers you like on your burying shroud? I'm a good embroiderer, me! Lay you out like that pretty pretty pancake!"

Me:"Grinwipey, please [interrupted]!"

Saza:"Ooh, duelling time already? Sythyry, your champion is a veritable stallion of eagerness for a fight!"

Me:"He's not my champion, he's my seamstress!"

Grinwipey:"Ain't for Sythyry, 's for my uncle Eggnoster!"

Me:"What?"

Grinwipey:"Hey, red lizard, let's get shing on a wing and see if your blood matches your fluffies! You're brave enough to burn Eggnoster from the comfort 'n privacy of your very own lab while some snoofly little bit froddles you. Are you brave enough to go up sparrow-and-clam with me, right here right now?"

Saza:"Well, are you brave enough to spin the fancy keys with me?"

Me:"You don't have to accept that [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"Sure as I can piss'n'whistle! Snaggardly little frosty-pet of an Oorish wizard!"

Saza:"Quite all right, coz. I won't hurt him very much, and then we'll get back to the proper etiquette with the rest of your crew."

Grinwipey:"It ain't gonna be this me that's hurting from cramming my good tolly-crack-up up your sweet little pishlet!"

Saza:"Quite so, my good squid, quite so." Zie produced a pair of ivory chopsticks from zir arsenal. "Whenever it meets your convenience, you may feel free to avenge your dear uncle."

Me:"No! Fighting! On! The! Yacht!"

Grinwipey:"This won't be so much a fight as it will be a pudding dance."

Phaniet:"No pudding dancing on the yacht!"

Me:"Grinwipey, stop that at once! Saza, I must apologize!"

Saza:"Well, coz, if you must, I suppose you must, but, seeing as I really did kill his uncle twice or thrice, I feel that I owe him a chance for similar treatment if he wants it."

Me:"You what?"

Grinwipey:"He gave my uncle the cacking pan and the churns! Couldn't statter for months afterwards, could poor old Eggnoster!"

Saza:"One pass at arms, my good squid, and that will be the end of the matter between us."

Grinwipey:"One pass at arms, you pus-crusted bustard, and that will be the giffering end of the matter! And of the tightness of your sphincters too!"

Vae:[whispered by a spell] "Not a bit was I teaching Grinwipey his manners, I swear it!"

Me:"Grinwipey! You didn't tell me you had a mortal enemy in Oorah Thrassen! 'specially one of my relatives!"

Grinwipey:"What you don't know, won't shuffle your duffle! Or maybe it will, haw!"

Saza:"When you are ready, my good squid."

Grinwipey:"That would be just ... about ... now." He curled a tentacle under his livery, and pulled out a club with a distinctly illegal spell on it .

Saza:"Oh, my. This could be bad."

Comments

[slrose.livejournal.com]

Doooom!

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

I WAS right! It is common to invite your zi-ri cousins to doom upon meeting them. :D

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Well, at least there's a healer on hand for the duel. O.O

And a terrifying ophidian defense grid to reassemble the pieces if it's not exactly death that the club deals out. x.x

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Because Vae is so very very good at Healoc?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Well, I was thinking you'd handle the Healoc.

Vae could mutoc the illegal enchantment onto a hapless splinter if his club was enchanted to turn zir into a blossomary or something. Wait, that would be a perfectly legal enchantment -- if it was enchanted to make zir *think* zie was a blossomary!

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

No, she's really good at Mutoc! She'll just change the dead body into a new living thing. ... of course, we can't be sure WHAT that living thing is, but she can do marvels with dead parts, I am sure!

[mmsword.livejournal.com]

Hm, there's a question for the ages: Which would hurt more for your cousin: getting extensive wounds healed via mutoc corpador or procreation...

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Sometime, I expect to learn the answer myself. But I may put it off for many many centuries. The procreation half, I mean. I've done the former more often than was comfortable.

[frunk-the-stick.livejournal.com]

*takes notes*

[sianmink.livejournal.com]

I had no idea Grinwipey had such a command of the slangular insulty speak. Though I guess that's fairly typical of the Khtsoyis.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

Could someone translate the khytsoyis for me? I am trying to figure out what happened to Eggnoster. It sounds painful!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I, for my part, rarely know precisely what Grinwipey means, in anatomical detail.

Hopefully I will never learn.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Saza caught Eggnoster performing some activity that zie didn't much like, probably involving violence and/or theft. Saza killed Eggnoster a couple of times, put some sort of a curse on him (I presume) and sent him packing. I don't really want to ask either one of them for details just now.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

*reads what the khtsoyis said* ah! I see. Apparently some curse involving normal bodily processes, and making them not work like they should?

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Isn't involuntary mentador also illegal?

[rowyn]

I hope Saza doesn't damage your seamstress too badly. He's hard to replace.

And is that illegal spell still illegal where you are now? I don't know how laws work on airships outside of city limits.

[kobolds.livejournal.com]

Yes, but once is more often than comfortable.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

I expect to learn the answer myself

How? That would require finding another zi-ri attractive.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

*tries to figure out what sort of illegal spell would be useful to cast on a club*

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Even Voluntary mentador is suspect, from what I've read.

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Which, if you think about it, is REALLY hard to do to a Khtsoyis in the first place, as they don't have hardly any bodily processes to begin with. :)

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

That's the point. A spell on your club to turn the thing you club into a blossomary would probably be fine, but adding mentador makes it illegal.

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Then that would be 'unless it was enchanted'?

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

I thought they have a FEW at least, right??

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Well, sure... but I have no idea what you would CALL any of them... maybe a stomach... they gotta have one of those somewhere, right?