OOC -- Wrongest Critical Miss Table Of All

OOC -- I'm (probably) too sick to write a Sythyry today. In the spirit of Castle Wrong, and the fact that Sythyry is based in a RPG, please contribute suggestions to make this the Wrongest Critical Miss Table Of All. (Not for World Tree, since it talks about undead and WT doesn't have undead. Kinda for anything-or-nothing-in-particular.)

Critical Miss (Fumble) Table.

(*)ed items do not apply to undead, though nothing in the rule system tells you whether they do not apply when the opponent is undead, when you are undead, both, or neither.

1. Drop your weapon
2. Break your weapon
3. Get shampoo in eyes.
4. Belch loudly enough to amuse opponent (*)
5. Break wind loudly enough to amuse opponent (*)
6. Accidentally grant opponent knighthood (*)
7. Discover that opponent has made you pregnant. (*)
8. Hit an ally
9. Hit yourself
10. Accidentally buy small present for opponent.
11. Invite opponent to birthday party (*)
12. Fall down
13. Call opponent by the name of a former lover
14. Die for d4 rounds (*)
15. Lay an egg.
16. Realize that your watch is slow.
17. Realize that your watch is fast.
18. Celestial waitresses appear and serve hamburgers to everyone in the melee, except you.
19. Realize that your watch is stopped.

OOC -- Wrongest Critical Miss Table Of All

OOC -- I'm (probably) too sick to write a Sythyry today. In the spirit of Castle Wrong, and the fact that Sythyry is based in a RPG, please contribute suggestions to make this the Wrongest Critical Miss Table Of All. (Not for World Tree, since it talks about undead and WT doesn't have undead. Kinda for anything-or-nothing-in-particular.)

Critical Miss (Fumble) Table.

(*)ed items do not apply to undead, though nothing in the rule system tells you whether they do not apply when the opponent is undead, when you are undead, both, or neither.

1. Drop your weapon
2. Break your weapon
3. Get shampoo in eyes.
4. Belch loudly enough to amuse opponent (*)
5. Break wind loudly enough to amuse opponent (*)
6. Accidentally grant opponent knighthood (*)
7. Discover that opponent has made you pregnant. (*)
8. Hit an ally
9. Hit yourself
10. Accidentally buy small present for opponent.
11. Invite opponent to birthday party (*)
12. Fall down
13. Call opponent by the name of a former lover
14. Die for d4 rounds (*)
15. Lay an egg.
16. Realize that your watch is slow.
17. Realize that your watch is fast.
18. Celestial waitresses appear and serve hamburgers to everyone in the melee, except you.
19. Realize that your watch is stopped.