(no subject)

[sythyry]

[16 Hispis 4262]

I don't know how often casting a sex-change spell on yourself is a tactically sharp move in a pitched battle with (at that point) eighteen assorted powerful elementals. In some ways it might have even seemed like a poor choice, since the burning-maned lion stuck its scorpion tail through Vae's left forepaw while she ... um, he ... was doing it.

In other ways, though, it was tactically a very adroit move. Getting a giant three-headed three-tailed nendrai on your side is worth quite a bit of pain. Oixe smiled twice, and ripped the scorpion tail off of the burning-maned lion with her other head. "This is very sweet of you, Vae!"

Vae giggled and turned something or other into a huge flaming icicle on top of the elongated spider. She ... um, he ... Vae was presumably trying to spear it, but it bounced off and left the spider sort of dazed. "I'm glad you like it!"

"Let me help you with that!" Oixe's claws sliced half the spider's legs off.

"Oh, thank you so much!" chirped Vae. She produced a big net over a terrifying four flopping winged headless creature that was failing to make much of an impression on Oixe's metallic (metallic!) flank with a spray of poisonous-looking thorns.

"That's quite nice," Oixe said. I think she meant it about the creature itself, not about the net.

I don't feel like describing the rest of the fight again. If you want to know that, read the official report. It took a full ninth of an hour, though the last minute was mostly the two nendrai chasing the bear elemental around -- it could teleport, and it was exceedingly fast. I suppose that Vae had taken my stories about Loukerax to heart. Oixe won, by the way. She killed about two elementals to Vae's one, and rescued Vae rather more often that Vae rescued her.

Then the sky over Vheshrame was quiet, and bits of dead elemental lay scattered all around. Two nendrai landed by the Halflight Gate, and called for me.

"Come out, Sythyry! We need you now!"

I peered out of the gate at them. "You've just shown off about a Holocaust War battle's worth of heavy sorcery for your own amusement and exercise. What could you possibly need a young Zi Ri for?"

Vae chirped, "We're a young pair of cisaffectionate Members of the Same Species on a date! You're our chaperone!"

Comments

[momentrabbit.livejournal.com]

... you know, somehow, even 'The Doooooooms!' doesn't seem to quite cover it this time.

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Yes. Clearly in this case, it should be:
THE DOOOOOOOOOOMS

[ionotter.livejournal.com]

You know...most people think that royalty get headaches because of the weight of the crowns on their heads? I think the Duke is going to be having a very nasty migraine when they get the complete details of this.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Nothing could possibly go wrong!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

You just know I'm going to find a way to kill Oixe and sell her metal scales for vast profits by the end of the day, don't you?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

You don't want to do that. Imagine the taxes!

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

No! Think of the Economy! *crash*

[waywind.livejournal.com]

Just so long as you don't sell too many of the scales in one place, or someone may decide that it counts as doorwaying!

(Also: ceiling fan elemental! Hooray!)

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Yay, ceiling fan elemental!

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

This will either get you much awe and wonder when you take them out to chaparone.... Or it will get you much awe and wonder!

(Ref. Notes: It's time to rewatch the Quiet Man. Mind the Patty Fingers, if you please!)

[tracerj.livejournal.com]

It's awe and wonder either way, isn't it? Reading all this makes me very glad I've never encountered anything of quite this magniture or quite so surreal, and even though I've just been made an Official Defender of Verimarche or something to that effect I seriously doubt I'll ever see anything nearly this impessive, although I have seen some thing lately that I'll amost certainly work into my next performance, entitled "Fire In the Belly" and delayed only slightly because I was travelling for a week or so and I've been very busy lately but now I can get back to work on that and still somehow I doubt that even an epic story as it's shaping up to be will turn out nearly as impressive as this account given by Sythyry!

— Wave Pepperbell Wave

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Oh.. And remember to pad your expense account with like "BRIBES TO MONSTERS" next time you are doing your budget.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

What exactly are you supposed to be on the watch for them doing as chaperone, and how are you going to stop them if they do?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

You're supposed to not let them be alone together, so that they can't get it on. Or rather, you're supposed to be able to testify to other people later that they were not alone and thus couldn't have done anything improper.

[jacel]

You have of course got to respect any species for whom unleashing hordes of elementals over a reasonably friendly city and then presenting them as a gift to the item of one's desire is deemed wholly proper.

As long as it's not you they're doing it at, of course.

[terrana.livejournal.com]

But when both are capable of high-complexity mentador spells on a whim, how reliable can any eyewitness account really be said to be?

[terrana.livejournal.com]

Ah? I had no idea until today that "chaperone" could mean "victim".

[calamitous-cani.livejournal.com]

I assure you, with enough creativity, *any* word can mean "victim". Alternately, with a large enough radius on a Mentador spell the theory of which I have had no reason to delve into, but I think we will not go into such gruesome and evil topics.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

"radish"?

"17"?

""?

[terrana.livejournal.com]

There are certain places you most definitely do not want a radish inserted. And while "" isn't technically a word, the implied threat is there.

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

"" is probably the most common word that means "victim".

For example, 'If you don't give me a poptaloop, then...'

[deor.livejournal.com]

/me is struck speechless.
...
...
Ah! THE DOOM!
Doom.
Doom.
Doom.
Doom.
Doom.

[galis.livejournal.com]

I think it's been said, but it bears repeating. The Doom is so palpable you'll probably get stuck in it and have to be pulled out by Nendrai who will then give you ten extra appendages of Doom so that you don't get stuck in solid manifestations of Doom again.

[koogrr.livejournal.com]

Oh so much doom!

[esory.livejournal.com]

Words fail me. O_O