(no subject)

[sythyry]

Disclaimer [2 Nivvem 4261]

You may have heard the rumors that I was seen with (depending on which version you heard), either a young Orren woman, an Orren woman of my own age, or an Orren woman of my popularly-imagined age. I'm pretty sure that the latter would be very old for an Orren.

Many of these rumors suggest that the Orren woman in question was Ilottat's former girlfriend -- that mysterious and presumably beautiful Orren woman often called "Noble Honey".

As for the more general rumors of an Orren woman ... I shall not, this moment, address them.

But she -- if she exists at all -- is not Noble Honey. As you surely recall, Noble Honey is me.

And I've never dated myself, you see.

Well, that's not strictly true. I have, once or twice, been known to take myself out for a nice dinner. Sometimes in company, and sometimes alone -- and not employing the services of a chaperone, either. Now and then, there might even be a puppet show or some other such harmless entertainment afterwards.

But I assure you that everything involved in these nice dinners was entirely proper and decent. Even the puppet shows.

Well, even most of the puppet shows.

And certainly there was no flirting involved between me and myself at these dinners. They were conducted in a wholly decorous manner.

Afterwards? Ah, and now you ask about afterwards?

Afterwards ... I blush my whiskers to admit it, and that's not an easy thing for a blue lizard to do ... afterwards, once or twice, yes, I did invite myself to bed.

Sometimes, even, the invitation was accepted. Perhaps hesitantly ... perhaps reluctantly ... perhaps, sometimes, even, eagerly.

Ah, and now you ask about ensuing passionate matters?

Well, you must remember that I am transaffectionate, and, as a general rule, I am the same species as myself. This is not a good foundation for passionate matters between the one of us.

But sometimes, yes, I am not the same species as myself.

Any suggestions or thoughts of sneaky eager fumbling between me and my-Orren-self are, of course, not to be discussed further. So I shan't.

But I definitely had too much brandy tonight.

Comments

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

You should go ahead and experience what it is like as a lot of the species! I'm sure it would be useful to know your way around the bodies of different prime species...

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Sythyry: Did ce -- that *is* a Cani, is it not? -- did ce, or did ce not, just recommend that I increase my carnal knowledge of myself?

Bard: Well, "it" could refer to, say, sleeping. Or walking. It wasn't specified.

Sythyry: But you make excuses. "It" surely refers to intimacies. Carnal ones.

Bard: Probably.

Sythyry: So, did ce, or did ce not, just tell me to fuck mys*lf?

Bard: I don't think that's a good translation.

Sythyry: A literal one, though?

Bard: A literal translation of a non-literal recommendation.

Sythyry: Does he suggest I masturbate metaphorically? Or are you lying?

Bard: Go ask Yylhauntra for clarification. I shan't discuss the matter any further with you tonight.

[Bard stomps off.]

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

*grins, laughing* what, is experiencing what it is like as other species a bad idea then?