(no subject)

[sythyry]

Dusty [2 Hivvem 4261]

At Across Saga, with Dustweed, sharing turnip pastries and spiced wine, and having trouble Orrenogling because we were somewhat behind a bookshelf. I could hear fairly adequately though. We got talked about a lot.

The Nice Conversations

Nobody actually said this, and sometimes one or the other was a Cani and once even a Gormoror, but I heard half a dozen conversations that went more or less like this:

A Rassimel I usually like:"Who's that with Sythyry?"

The Orren she is probably sleeping with:"Both-female. Baron of something. I forget her name."

Rassimel:"Thought so."

Orren:"Why would Heartshell let someone like that in here?"

Rassimel:"Licking noble undertails, I guess."

Orren:"Well, it's stupid of her. Suppose we get raided tonight? Guards'll triple the blackmail."

Rassimel:"Yeah, while she gets away for free 'cuz, like, what guard's gonna shake down a baron?"

Orren:"Besides, what's she doing here anyways?"

Rassimel:"Well, no Herethroy would have her."

(It is one of Dustweed's little perversion that zie prefers to be considered a co-lover -- a perversion of which my fellow perverts were unaware, or, perhaps, deliberately ignoring.)

Orren:"She might be able to get a Khtsoyis if she's lucky."

Rassimel:"Or a wherriwheffle. They'll do anybody."

Orren:"Yeah. She should go to a monster-lover bar."

Rassimel:"Is there a monster-lover bar?"

Orren:"Damned if I know. Not in the city."

Rassimel:"Well, I hope she goes there soon then."

Orren:"Me too."

The Less Nice Conversations

When one of the conversants was a Herethroy, the conversation wasn't nearly so kind. I won't transcribe those ... I won't even reconstruct them. The suggestions about how to deal with the situation from Herethroy include:

1. Have Dustweed and me forcefully evicted from the establishment.
2. Let us stay if we pay for everything for everybody.
3. Have Dustweed's abdominal chitin broken with a chair.
4. Slip the blood of owl-dragons into Dustweed's beverage. (I believe that Herethroy are made particularly ill by this blood.)
5. Take the mighty mystical weapons which I surely have (and don't! Not even a seven-winged burny thing!) and turn them fearsomely upon Dustweed.
6. Have the chef urinate upon Dustweed's salad. Describe it as "House Special Salad Dressing"
7. Dump a beer on Dustweed's head.
8. Encourage Dustweed to finish eating and depart with some efficiency, but without threats or actual rancor.

The Judgment

Me:"Heavens, Dustweed. I'm very sorry ... I didn't think that a bunch of traffs would be like that."

Dustweed:"Oh, it wasn't too bad."

Me:apologize grovel grovel apologize

Dustweed:"Really -- most places are much worse. Nobody actually did anything, at least."

Zie meant it, too.

Comments

[greenreaper.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should have Vae take Dustweed on a trip next time, given that she does, in fact, have mighty mystical weapons - and appears more than willing to use them on those who disagree with herself or her companions.

On the other hand, maybe the wherriwheffle idea has promise. I'm sure you know what they say: "four legs good, eight legs better"! :-)

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Dustweed isn't *actually* on the prowl, I don't think.

Wonder if it was really the Barronity that had them all atwitter... they didn't seem to mind (or notice) Ilottat.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Ilottat didn't go there very often.

It's the both-femaleness that was the problem.

[cowboy-r.livejournal.com]

I'd've taken their mouths away. But, in some ways, I suppose I'm as bad as Vae.

an idea.

[winterbeast.livejournal.com]

could there be a spell cast upon poor dustweed that would break the arm that strikes her in anger?

Re: an idea.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Sure.

But, as stated, it'd be hideously illegal -- mind-reading is a great crime, and indiscriminantly looking at everyone's mind is a very large version of it. I couldn't get away with it -- I doubt that the Duke would be the Duke three months after he tried it -- and certainly Dustweed couldn't.

Without the mind-reading, it'd just be illegal, since the spell could go off by mistake and break someone's arm who, say, were about to land on zir shoulder. Ouch.

Re: an idea.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

What about some sort of reflection-shield thing that moved any damage done to her onto her assailant instead, after it happened?

I guess that would probably at the very least be 'needlessly complicated' as a defensive measure.

[kensaro.livejournal.com]

Mmm, wherriwheffles are saxsay. :)

It's not counted as cavorting with monsters if you're a monster yourself, is it?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't know. I'm not a monster.

[redbird]

It may count in a technical sense, but monsters are socially completely beyond the pale anyway, so we can't be worse just for consorting with other monsters.

(No, this userpic is not a literal portrait of me.)

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose monsters should consort with monsters of their own species, at least as a frequent rule. Can monsters be traff?

[redbird]

Monsters can be traff, but in my home culture, it's considered extremely perverted, because they're generally traff with non-sentient animals that can't even talk.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

That sounds extremely perverted!

[redbird]

I agree.

(I've heard rumors that some my-world monsters are traff for sentient other-species monsters, but there are communication problems, because neither has really learned the other's language yet. But they do have language, as far as we can tell without having learned it.)

[kris-schnee.livejournal.com]

This took some time to interpret. If I understand correctly, (a) based on what research I've seen it's not really accurate to say they've got language beyond the usual few distress calls and the like, and (b) that's perverted.

[redbird]

I don't know whether dolphins have language. If they do have real language, then by my standards they're people, which makes it potentially acceptable--assuming that there are dolphins who are traff for humans--even if kinky.

[O Zi Ri: our world has oceans large enough that there are large mammals that live entirely in the ocean, all their lives; they have no land form, and no hands. There is, as you have seen, disagreement about whether they have a language, or only the sort of alarm and territorial calls that many animals do.]

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

From what I've heard, dolphins will do anybody. Even, like, killer whales, that normally eat them.

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

From what I've heard, dolphins will do anybody

I don't know why, but for some reason this the most hilarious thing I've read all day.

[niss-the-ai.livejournal.com]

They were described to me as "try-sexual." As in, willing to try anything. Just imagine the complaints the future uplifts will have about being stereotyped!

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

house special salad dressing
Apparently _everyone_ needs somebody to piss on, even those who should know better.
On the other hand, o Zi Ri, I applaud the way you've overcome many of your prejudices since first meeting Dustweed.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

[Bard's been working to make it 10-steps-forward 9-steps-back, and qutie reluctant. -bb]