(no subject)

[sythyry]

Trowel [24 Consimbs 4261]

Dear Lord Eddarna --
I am writing today to inform you that I am embezzling one (1) trowel. This trowel has a steel blade, and a steel tang running through a wooden handle. The tang is attached to the blade by means of a pair of large rivets. I estimate its weight as a pound or a pound and a half. The trowel is in exceedingly crappy condition. The blade shows signs of considerable wear, and is very rusty. The handle is quite aged, to the point of, I think, slipping around the tang when one tries to dig with it. Bits of alien soil cling to it in spots. If considered as a trowel, it's probably worth a few terch. If considered as a hunk of metal, it's probably worth a couple hundred lozens. If considered as an offworld artifact of exciting provenance, I need to consult a dealer in curiosities. In any case, it's not magical. If you or the Duke or someone needs a share of it as a bribe or taxes or something, please let me know. I plan to throw it in my closet, discover it to my surprise when I move out of Quelldrie House, and try to figure out what to do with it then. I have sent copies of this letter to Hezimikkinen and Kaim-Su.
I'm really trying to follow the laws when embezzling.
-- Sythyry

Comments

[redbird]

This is delightful.

Do be careful that nobody else finds it in your closet first and walks off with it.

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

My two cents for when you discover it in surprise, you might wish to consider donating it to a museum of curiousities, if such exist. So far as I'm aware, you are not currently in need of great wealth, or even moderate wealth, so having it sitting about in your closet where it cannot even serve as a conversation piece would seem fairly pointless.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Don't be silly! It's the sort of oddity that any ziri should have mysteriously lying about.

What would people think if they snooped about in Sythyry's closet and *didn't* see any alien trowels? Zie'd be a laughing stock!

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

If I had a working Interdimensional Flux Capacitor, I'd send you a whole bunch of alien trowels!

And maybe some other interesting things made out of metal too!

I guess a big old bar of iron would be useful, huh?

[zeeth_kyrah]

Could you imagine the reaction to learning that such a thing was merely considered a cheap and very crude form of weapon, or a means of reinforcing buildings?

[kris-schnee.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, somewhere, someone is baffled by Sythyry's lost Amulet of Emplumation.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

After momentary consideration, I have a suggestion for another interdimensional artifact that would truly baffle the World Tree: a stapler. This expensive yet brutishly functional device seems to be designed to semi-permanently attach very ugly jewelry to clothing. Who would make such a thing?