(no subject)

[sythyry]

Self-Praise, Drought of Doom, and Other Failed Vices [1 Chirreb 4261]

I have managed to keep this journal for a year, as of today. I've written about two hundred thousand words in it, even -- not counting chatting with monsters, extradimensional horrors, aliens, and Esory.

After doing that calculation yesterday afternoon, I felt that the situation called for pren brandy. Not necessarily all the way to unconsciousness, like that last time, but enough. My favorite bartender (Ilottat) was still in class, but Ghirbis was at home, perched on the back of the big couch in the Arena of Massacres and Spectacles of Blood.

Me:"Ghirbis? Could you pour me a small chalice of the cheap pren brandy?" I got a rather large bottle of the cheap pren brandy -- I do, in fact, weigh more than the bottle of brandy, but not by that much.

Ghirbis:[singing]"Za! The resplendent Zi Ri, mighty in zir political connections, celebrates with many a room-spinning drunkenness while lesser folk must struggle with their examinations!"

She poured the brandy anyways, and handed me the chalice. The brandy quite elegantly spilled up and over my head and down behind my tail.

Me:"That's odd..."

I flew over to investigate the puddle. It splashed around my left side and repuddled itself on the carpet.

Me:"That, too, is odd."

Ghirbis:[not singing]"Sythyry? What in Accanax' name are you wearing of a spell?"

I looked. Vae had sort of wadded the space-distortion umbrella spell tightly around me. I stalked up on the puddle, which splashed down through the floor and up to the floor behind me, following the wrinkled curves of the umbrella.

Me:"I suppose Vaisessasilmin is worried that I'm drinking too much brandy these days, and has prevented me from having more."

Ghirbis:"Well, she's right about that."

Me:"Your loyalty is heavily noted. I shall tell your great-to-the-seven-and-twelfth-grandchildren." Which is a rather vicious thing to say to anyone, but I was distressed.

We investigated further. The umbrella spell shielded me from cheap pren brandy, water, soup, Skullmurmur wine, milk, melted butter, vinegar, and ink. Ghirbis forbade me to try with the Oskameeska or anything more expensive.

Me:"Now I am worried."

Ghirbis:"Afraid of sobriety?"

Me:"Afraid of dying of thirst."

Ghirbis:"Oh. Right. Dying of thirst. How long can a Zi Ri go without drinking?"

Me:"A day? A day and a half, if I don't sleep on a fire, maybe. We're not very big people. We don't carry lots of water in our bodies."

Ghirbis:"Can you call Vae and have her take the spell off?"

Me:"Strenata knows where she lives... I know where Strenata lives."

Ghirbis:"We'd better go then."

We had gotten almost out of the parlor when Ghirbis saved my life.

Ghirbis:"Don't you have that water-creating talisman you made in your class?"

Me:"Ghirbis, you have saved my life."

The talisman worked fine, of course. Liquids can't come towards me through an irregular blobby boundary that is some 3-5 feet from my head. I can, however, fill an empty tub with water from a talisman, or a spell, and drink as much as I want, as long as it's not very far away from me.

I think I drank a pint of water in two minutes. Which isn't a lot for a Cani or a Gormoror, but left me visibly bulging.

And, since I don't need cley for enchantment classes at the moment, I can conjure water several times a day. Good. Vae still gets The Conversation, but not with a corpse and a very upset pack of Zi Ri.

Ilottat also saved my life on this topic. He discovered that people could (1) teleport liquids to me across the boundary, or (2) hand me a closed bottle of anything, which the spell wouldn't think was rain. (2) we discovered by a delightful serendipity; I was sitting on his cabinet, next to a bottle of after-swim fur oil, and he noticed that the oil was still in the bottle.

And Iska mentioned that I could have gotten enough liquid to survive by eating grapes and melons and cucumbers and suchlike juicy fruits and vegetables, which are available in great profusion on this first day of Autumn I.

OK, so I was never really going to die of thirst.

It was still pretty terrifying, that Vae could do something which I thought might kill me, casually, while trying to be helpful.

I'm going to have to have The Conversation with her, very hard, and make it stick.

[Poll #508570]

Comments

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Yes, there's a good chance she'll end up smoking you by accident, but there's an equally good chance she could be a very useful tool later in your (allowing for non-smokage) very long life. And since your appointment has pretty much been set in stone by the government, there's nothing you can do about her high potential for offing you, you may as well make the best of it. She could be a very handy little game piece.

Emphasis on the "tool." Don't get too chummy. She may appear cute and lost, but she can appear any damn way she wants to. And I wouldn't put it past her to be having very similar thoughts about you. Survival comes first, and an accessible and modestly noble Zi Ri has its uses too.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

There is a point... she could learn a langauge in a week or two, but can't seem to remember that Sythyry doesn't want to be ensorcelled?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I think goodluckfox had the right of it.

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Personally I don't believe she can't remember. I'm of the opinion that the waif act is precisely that. An act.

Congratulations!

[dreamburnt.livejournal.com]

And oh dear. Did you ever manage to get drunk?

I would suggest, next time, that instead of buying a book, you have one written specifically for Vae. With great emphasis on the many unfortunate consequences of incautious spellcasting.

Re: Congratulations!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

An excellent idea! If any of you are good writers, please write me such a book and ... um ... I'll ... try to figure out how to pay you handsomely.

Re: Congratulations!

[collie13.livejournal.com]

Why not just have the professor of the "Leap into Boiling Whatever" class write down some of the more, um... egregious magical deaths? That'd indubitably top anything we could come up with, I'm sure. ;)

Re: Congratulations!

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

A long, long time ago, in a branch far, far away, there lived a little mouse by the name of Mickey, who was an apprentice to a powerful sorcerer... };)

Re: Congratulations!

[dreamburnt.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, there was a Herethroy named... er... Sitheeri. And this Herethroy had a young and well-meaning mherobump friend named Vaessa, who, in the process of trying to help Sitheeri be rid of a minor itching of the skin, accidentally turned her friend Sitheeri's outer layers into stinging wasps, and was then set upon by a horde of enraged Herethroy relatives, until Vaessa then rewound time until the point before that incident, except that's not acceptable in polite society, either.

Err. Perhaps you'd be better off cribbing your story from Bread and Jam for Frances? (After all, books for the children of monsters are hardly likely to be heard of in your locale, so you wouldn't be facing any civil suits.)

Re: Congratulations!

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Oh, and, no, by the time we figured out how to get me drunk, I'd had more water than would fit comfortably inside of two whole large Zi Ri, and couldnt' bear the thought of drinking any more.

[goodluckfox.livejournal.com]

Did you know that you can die from drinking too much water? Well, WE can at any rate. It's called water intoxication. It throws off the electorlyte balances in your body and your nerves that control your vitally important organs stop working the way they're supposed to. Every year some college kids die from it when they discover they can get a cheap drunk simply by drinking too much water.

I don't even know if you HAVE electrolytes, since very little of our chemistry would function in your world.

Oh, and it's GoodLUCKfox. :) We can chalk that mistake up to your being so rattled at the thought of dying of thirst... or at least being inconvenienced somewhat.

Loxley

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Ack! I am sorry about messing up your name, especially in a place that I can't fix.

[goodluckfox.livejournal.com]

That's okay. It gives me plausible deniability. :)

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Given that they can live through being stabbed in the heart, I doubt electrolyte imbalance would do more than make them woozy.

[brennabat.livejournal.com]

Can a Nendrai resurrect someone? You know my knowledge of your magic is flimsy, but from what I have I'd figure that would require Healoc. I don't suppose some combination of mutation and spirit could reincarnate you instead? It may be prudent to mention to Vae it's okay -- as per a plan you arrange! -- to cast on your without your permission if you have been slain while with her. Otherwise she may see any aid she'd provide you as being rude.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I think they cannot, or not without a trick which I do not see.

[dracosphynx.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that would not stop Vae from *trying* to ressurrect you ... not sure if the results of her experimentation would be pleasant, though. (Dr. Vae-kenstein!) The might be able to preserve the bits and pieces of you and get you to someone who could ressurrect you, mostly.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Transform zir mind, body, and spirit into engraved amber bricks that wouldn't degrade over time with Mu Su Co Me Sp Hr?

Sythyry-lozen!

[greenreaper.livejournal.com]

Best of all, you could user zir to pay for things! :-)

[vernononfm.livejournal.com]

What about a 'Mu Te' to change what happened when you died? If Vae really sponts complexity 100 spells, then that should be powerful enough to mess with a couple hours..

[goodluckfox.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many times she's accidently gotten Sythyry killed already, but Mutoc Tempadored the situation to fix it?

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

You have a beautiful and scary mind.

[redbird]

Not misunderstood, but misunderstanding.

[esory.livejournal.com]

I must say "Worth Cultivating" ... not so much in the sense of 'kiss up to people more powerful than you are so they can help you later', but in the gardening sense. She will be much less dangerous cultivated than wild, and killing her like a weed is not an option.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

I think the word 'egregious' was invented for Vaesessasilmin.

Egregious things on your side can be useful, though. }:P

[greenreaper.livejournal.com]

I think the word 'egregious' was invented for Vaesessasilmin.

You have to admit the term "B*tshit Loco" fits pretty well too, though. ;-)

[fringe-worthy.livejournal.com]

It's not her fault.

She was brought up in quite a normal and sane way...

... For someone powerful who will be attacked and whose consideration of a good result is 'I lived.' React, survive, try to fix any result you don't like is a better result then 'Ah, what shall I do... Oh, notice I'm dead and gone aftr thinking too much. Whooops'

Maybe she should be taught some games where considered step by step thought is needed. Chess, or that board game with the river running along the diagonal.

[cowboy-r.livejournal.com]

Woo! I'm an extradimensional horror! I am so happy, now I do the dance of joy!