Department of Transaffectionate Studies [3 Hivvem 4385]

[sythyry]

Mirrored from Sythyry.

The first question that we (Phaniet, Jyondre, and myself) had to ask was, “Why does Lord Caring University have a Department of Transaffectionate Studies?”

To which the answer was, “I beg your pardon? We do not have any such department!”

So we were compelled to ask, “But you, sir, are Sir Norning Goddibert Professor of the Study of the Transaffectionate, are you not?”

To which his reply was, “Indeed I have that honor, sirs! But in the Department of the Study of the Behaviors of Primes!” And, upon further inducements, it was revealed that the primes come in eighteen varieties, ranging from “Religious Devotees” to “Gormoror Hill Tribesmen.”

So we were compelled to ask, “What if a Gormoror hill tribesman is a religious devotee?”

“Then he shall be covered in four sections, of course,” explained Prof. Sir Dr. the Hon. Mump.

“Four?”

“They are all Adventurers, and they are all Drunkards and Diplomats, which are two of the other categories of primes that must be understood,” explained Mump, as if that were the most natural thing in the world.

“Wait, there’s a single category of ‘Drunkards and Diplomats’?” we asked.

“Why, of course there is. Any who questions this unicity of this category, does not truly understand the nature of diplomacy or drunkenness,” said Mump with such intense authority that we dared not argue.

“I am an ambassador,” I said agreeably, “And my ambassadorial duties frequently call for mighty chalices full of brandy afterwards.”

Vae wept loudly, though bloodily, back in Strayway. She was watching us through the scrying amulets. I sent private and quiet apologies, which helped only a little.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Awwww, not nearly as interesting as an entire department devoted to studying transaffection!

Also, they sound a bit loopy, but university courses in World Tree always do so I guess I shouldn't take that too mean too much.

[rowyn]

Whoops, that was me.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

They sound just like any of the Group Studies departments at a major US university.

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Welcome, Gentleprime, to Section 13, the Bureau of Transaffectionate Affairs. When things in the night go bump, we are the ones who grind back.

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. While it's pleasing to see that he allows for a single person belonging in multiple cubbyholes, he still seems sadly taken by stereotypes. Somewhat unfortunate, that. I suppose the typical Gormoror lifestyle is rather adventuresome by the standards of typical city-folk, but if you're dealing with someone who's already atypical, lumping the whole lot in there seems somewhat uncharitable.

[redbird]

I infer that you have a better quality of drunk than in many monster societies. Unless Mump meant that all drunkards must attempt diplomacy the next day.

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe this is one of those Seven Kinds of Intelligence kinds of things, where people are categorized on a scale, and one might not be very adventurous, but makes up for it by being very drunk?

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor Vae!

I admit that I must now question the academic credentials of the university for conflating drunkards and diplomats, but you handled that very diplomatically. (if not drunkly)

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

How many categories of behaviors do nonprimes have?

[rowyn]

Now we must know: does the university have a department of the Study of the Behaviors of NonPrimes?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Veshrame University has something like that. One class was Nendrai Ethology or whatever?

Maybe it's 'adventuring studies'? >:)

[kris-schnee.livejournal.com]

Is it a coincidence that Sythyry took both the adventuring class and "Flirtatious Dancing" at about the same time?

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

Two.

Seeking out ways to exterminate all Prime life, and acting to exterminate all Prime life.

Every action by a non-prime, throughout their entire life, is entirely devoted to those pursuits.

If a non-prime APPEARS to be doing something else -- cooking food for her family, cutting wood to build a house, or casting a Healoc Corpador spell -- her ONLY purpose in doing so is to get you to lower your guard.

I'm so glad that you asked this question. Tomorrow, we'll talk about how non-primes only appear to experience pain...

[foomf.livejournal.com]

You've been eating the Paranoia Cakes again, haven't you.