(no subject)

[sythyry]

The Etiquette of Primes [20 Hispis 4385]

Monsters may teleport in on each other unannounced, the way Shadatei just did. People do not. So, we landed Strayway by Eigrach's trunkward gate, and Kantele wrote a letter. It went something like this.

[Occasional status markers will be written to show that speech is in Srineian, or where they are relevant for the story. In most cases they will be omitted. -bb]

From the wizard Sythyry to the mayor and nobility of Eigrach, greetings. I-nob have arrived in Eigrach Mene some weeks earlier than I had expected. I should be grateful of an opportunity to present my credential as ambassador and enchanter at your convenience. With great respect, Sythyry.

I am technically an ambassador of Vheshrame. I am not the ambassador to Eigrach of course. I am the ambassador to Vae. Nor does Vheshrame have any real need of an embassy in Srineia. But there is no reason to be rude. So I have an official scroll from the Duke promising eternal friendship with Eigrach. Puffery through and through, of course -- I believe that Oorah Thrassen has a dozen such scrolls -- but a very polite sort of puffery.

So Kantele hired a porter to take the message to the mayoral mansion.

"What does Eigrach look like?" asked Lithia.

"It's all woven," said Kantele. "I've seen chairs and baskets like that, but never whole houses."

"It comes by the name 'Wicker City' honestly," said Jyondre.

"Well, they do quite impressive-looking things with it. Every house by the gate has two or three spires or onion-dome or a grand spiral balcony at the very least. Sometimes the onion domes are on sideways. There's one building that has got to be a brothel; I can't see any other excuse for the number and arrangement of sideways onion domes," said Kantele.

Jyondre grinned sadly. "Oh, that would be the Ord Bord. It's famous. My parents sent me there for three days once."

"Is that a usual sort of treat on Srineia?"

"Hardly that. They had found me with my first reciprocated crush, and they wanted to be sure that I would never have such a crush again. Some parents might have beaten me, and some might have scolded me. Mine were enlightened. They sent me to Ord Bord for three days with a purchase order for all the Orren I could screw, and hoped that the experience would teach me never to lust after Herethroy again."

Yerenthax chuckled. "And...?"

Jyondre grinned. "It worked! I have never lusted after Herethroy again. Now I devote myself wholly to Gormoror."

Yerenthax smirked. "Your parents will be happy, I take it?"

Jyondre shook his head. "I somehow doubt it."

Lithia raised her illusionarily-Orren head from Lost-Eyes' shoulder. "Will you win another trip to the brothel from it?"

Yerenthax declaimed, "From fearsome flirts, and fuck-for-fee / we both shall fly, my love and me!"

Lithia threw a pillow at her.

Comments

[rowyn]

There's one building that has got to be a brothel; I can't see any other excuse for the number and arrangement of sideways onion domes,

What, it couldn't be a hotel of some sort? If they're very small, maybe a coffin-hotel like Tokyo has? >:)

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't think most hotels need quite such a display of Rassy-style [or human-style] breasts on the building itself. Nor do their spires quite so distinctly resemble the eager phalluses of the four populous species. At least, not where I come from. Srineia, or your homeworld, could be different.

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

...Now that's honest advertising.

Here, classically speaking, brothels settled for a red lamp at the door. But then, they often were not quite within the law.

[tracerj.livejournal.com]

Bits like this are the ones I read out loud to my wife, even though she's perfectly capable of reading them on her own. Thus, I get in trouble, but loving trouble!

[rowyn]

Ohhhhhh.

I can't say I've seen any hotels like that on my homeworld. Or brothels, for that matter.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

*shudders at the fire hazzard inherent in a city made entirely of wicker*

[spotweld.livejournal.com]

Open flames and wicker might not make a good combination...

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

What, don't you fireproof your houses in your world?

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Fire Hazzard? Probably not... Grazing opportunity? Yes.

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

As opposed to cities made entirely of wood?

A fairly basic(cplx 10) ritual will render a building fireproof until such time as it's remodeled, and that would work as well on wicker as on wood.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

The fireproofing ritual only keeps fire away from the building. It doesn't do anything if the building is on fire, especially if it's a magic fire.

Also, there's flammable and then there's FLAMMABLE!!!!!

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

We do, we just use materials other than wood, because other materials are more common. A good way to fireproof a house is to build it out of concrete (stone, ash, sand, water and some other stuff mixed together to make a cement that becomes concrete).

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

It's hard for the building to GET on fire if fire stays away from it.

Magic fire may indeed be another matter, but magic fire doesn't always even need fuel at all.

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

Which is fine for the frame, but the way they do it - with magic - probably allows for more comfortable furnishings that might still be fireproof. Durudor materials tend not to be very cozy.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Durudor materials are hard to manipulate magically as well. Good for your building technology that they are also generally not easy to burn.

[stormydragon.livejournal.com]

We also do most of our lighting with bottled lightening instead of fire.

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Only four?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Rassimel, Herethroy, Cani, Orren. Zi Ri, Sleeth, Gormoror, and Khtsoyis don't count. I doubt they have employees of any of our species.

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Ahh, of course.

[xolo.livejournal.com]

Wicker buildings would be very nice in the summer, but don't they get a bit drafty when the weather turns cold?

[deor.livejournal.com]

From this we may deduce either some kind of easily appliable seasonal weatherproofing, or mild warm climate all year.

Wonder which it is?

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Well, perhaps they have spells to adjust the wood slats to exactly fit against each other, or they might line the walls with paper like Japanese houses - wallpaper so to speak!

[shurhaian.livejournal.com]

False dilemma. There's also magical construction as a very viable option.