Department of Transaffectionate Studies [3 Hivvem 4385]

Mirrored from Sythyry.

The first question that we (Phaniet, Jyondre, and myself) had to ask was, “Why does Lord Caring University have a Department of Transaffectionate Studies?”

To which the answer was, “I beg your pardon? We do not have any such department!”

So we were compelled to ask, “But you, sir, are Sir Norning Goddibert Professor of the Study of the Transaffectionate, are you not?”

To which his reply was, “Indeed I have that honor, sirs! But in the Department of the Study of the Behaviors of Primes!” And, upon further inducements, it was revealed that the primes come in eighteen varieties, ranging from “Religious Devotees” to “Gormoror Hill Tribesmen.”

So we were compelled to ask, “What if a Gormoror hill tribesman is a religious devotee?”

“Then he shall be covered in four sections, of course,” explained Prof. Sir Dr. the Hon. Mump.

“Four?”

“They are all Adventurers, and they are all Drunkards and Diplomats, which are two of the other categories of primes that must be understood,” explained Mump, as if that were the most natural thing in the world.

“Wait, there’s a single category of ‘Drunkards and Diplomats’?” we asked.

“Why, of course there is. Any who questions this unicity of this category, does not truly understand the nature of diplomacy or drunkenness,” said Mump with such intense authority that we dared not argue.

“I am an ambassador,” I said agreeably, “And my ambassadorial duties frequently call for mighty chalices full of brandy afterwards.”

Vae wept loudly, though bloodily, back in Strayway. She was watching us through the scrying amulets. I sent private and quiet apologies, which helped only a little.

Department of Transaffectionate Studies [3 Hivvem 4385]

Mirrored from Sythyry.

The first question that we (Phaniet, Jyondre, and myself) had to ask was, “Why does Lord Caring University have a Department of Transaffectionate Studies?”

To which the answer was, “I beg your pardon? We do not have any such department!”

So we were compelled to ask, “But you, sir, are Sir Norning Goddibert Professor of the Study of the Transaffectionate, are you not?”

To which his reply was, “Indeed I have that honor, sirs! But in the Department of the Study of the Behaviors of Primes!” And, upon further inducements, it was revealed that the primes come in eighteen varieties, ranging from “Religious Devotees” to “Gormoror Hill Tribesmen.”

So we were compelled to ask, “What if a Gormoror hill tribesman is a religious devotee?”

“Then he shall be covered in four sections, of course,” explained Prof. Sir Dr. the Hon. Mump.

“Four?”

“They are all Adventurers, and they are all Drunkards and Diplomats, which are two of the other categories of primes that must be understood,” explained Mump, as if that were the most natural thing in the world.

“Wait, there’s a single category of ‘Drunkards and Diplomats’?” we asked.

“Why, of course there is. Any who questions this unicity of this category, does not truly understand the nature of diplomacy or drunkenness,” said Mump with such intense authority that we dared not argue.

“I am an ambassador,” I said agreeably, “And my ambassadorial duties frequently call for mighty chalices full of brandy afterwards.”

Vae wept loudly, though bloodily, back in Strayway. She was watching us through the scrying amulets. I sent private and quiet apologies, which helped only a little.