(no subject)

[9 Hispis 4262]

Vae:"Hiio!"

Me:"Good afternoon to you too, Vae. Guess what the Duke ordered me to do."

Vae:"The Duke ordered you to assault Ulmarn with a barrage of eel and sweet bean pastries, which must be procured with great trouble from many distant and exotic locales?"

Me:"Well, no, not exactly."

Vae:"The Duke ordered you to construct a beautiful city on the edge of the Verticals wherein primes and monsters may meet as equals, and love and charity and happiness shall flourish."

Me:"Well ... less that."

Vae:"The Duke has ordered you to find me a boyfriend immediately."

Me:"Staring gods, I hope not! I can't even find myself one."

Vae:"The next guess was to be that... and why not?"

So I explained about Raom. And that meant saying a bit about the trial and all. I didn't want to say very much, but there is no resisting Vae's magical powers. No, she didn't read my mind, or anybody's. She teleported a copy of the Howling Horn of Hressh-Huu to herself (there was a little article about it in the back, rather mocky at Darsues) and read it. And asked me about the hard words, like "treason". I translated into the Nice Language.

Vae:"And your supposed treason, it was being my ally?"

Me:"Pretty much. Or me explaining that I'm not my grandparent and I can't resist your magic very much."

Vae:"The treason, though... And are you my ally?"

Oh, dear. I really didn't want to have a long detailed discussion about the nature of my relationship with Vae.

Me:"Technically, I'm the Vheshrame ambassador to you. And you and we have an alliance. So, yes, I am your ally; all Vheshrame is."

Vae:"The memory I had of it is that, yes. And how then is it treason to be my ally?"

Me:"It's not. The Duke made great fun of Darsues for suggesting it might be."

Vae:"The well enough. And how is it that Darsues might think it was treason for you to be my ally?"

Me:"Darsues argued that I might be your agent. In the -- nigh-impossible! -- event that you and Vheshrame disagree about some matter or other."

Vae:"And really how impossible is it?"

Me:"Well ... we're really going to disagree now and then. I hope we don't disagree beyond the scope of a bit of discussion to fix, and maybe a few extra gifts or some such."

Vae:"The meeting of Ficina, like?"

I had hoped she'd forgotten that.

Me:"Ack! I'm sorry, I've been too busy getting interrogated and tried and not laid to even ask about that."

Vae:"The hurry is not great. The next week or even the week after would suffice."

Me:"So thirty or forty years hence should be no problem."

Me:"I'll see what I can do. I don't know whether they'll want to bring such a young child out the gate."

Vae:"Not to visit a monster, you mean."

Me:"Well, yes."

Vae:"The very well do I know what I am."

Me:"I wouldn't call you a monster. I'd call you a friend."

Vae:"The only friend I have to tell me any truth, some weeks. Every monster friend I have tells me that I am always right. That Oixe will of course be mine, or anyone."

(I don't need to actually be afraid of Vae, you know. All she's got is complexity-80-to-100 spells with enough power to reach the Silver Moon and rip holes in the wall of the universe. I've got emotional manipulation. Much more effective.)

Me:"Whereas I have, perforce, much humility in saying how much I understand love. I won't say anything definitive about it one way or another."

Vae:"The exactly!"

So we discussed love for a while longer, and how hopelessly unpredictable, yet predictably hopeless, it is. Which was much more fun than discussing embezzling.

(no subject)

[9 Hispis 4262]

Vae:"Hiio!"

Me:"Good afternoon to you too, Vae. Guess what the Duke ordered me to do."

Vae:"The Duke ordered you to assault Ulmarn with a barrage of eel and sweet bean pastries, which must be procured with great trouble from many distant and exotic locales?"

Me:"Well, no, not exactly."

Vae:"The Duke ordered you to construct a beautiful city on the edge of the Verticals wherein primes and monsters may meet as equals, and love and charity and happiness shall flourish."

Me:"Well ... less that."

Vae:"The Duke has ordered you to find me a boyfriend immediately."

Me:"Staring gods, I hope not! I can't even find myself one."

Vae:"The next guess was to be that... and why not?"

So I explained about Raom. And that meant saying a bit about the trial and all. I didn't want to say very much, but there is no resisting Vae's magical powers. No, she didn't read my mind, or anybody's. She teleported a copy of the Howling Horn of Hressh-Huu to herself (there was a little article about it in the back, rather mocky at Darsues) and read it. And asked me about the hard words, like "treason". I translated into the Nice Language.

Vae:"And your supposed treason, it was being my ally?"

Me:"Pretty much. Or me explaining that I'm not my grandparent and I can't resist your magic very much."

Vae:"The treason, though... And are you my ally?"

Oh, dear. I really didn't want to have a long detailed discussion about the nature of my relationship with Vae.

Me:"Technically, I'm the Vheshrame ambassador to you. And you and we have an alliance. So, yes, I am your ally; all Vheshrame is."

Vae:"The memory I had of it is that, yes. And how then is it treason to be my ally?"

Me:"It's not. The Duke made great fun of Darsues for suggesting it might be."

Vae:"The well enough. And how is it that Darsues might think it was treason for you to be my ally?"

Me:"Darsues argued that I might be your agent. In the -- nigh-impossible! -- event that you and Vheshrame disagree about some matter or other."

Vae:"And really how impossible is it?"

Me:"Well ... we're really going to disagree now and then. I hope we don't disagree beyond the scope of a bit of discussion to fix, and maybe a few extra gifts or some such."

Vae:"The meeting of Ficina, like?"

I had hoped she'd forgotten that.

Me:"Ack! I'm sorry, I've been too busy getting interrogated and tried and not laid to even ask about that."

Vae:"The hurry is not great. The next week or even the week after would suffice."

Me:"So thirty or forty years hence should be no problem."

Me:"I'll see what I can do. I don't know whether they'll want to bring such a young child out the gate."

Vae:"Not to visit a monster, you mean."

Me:"Well, yes."

Vae:"The very well do I know what I am."

Me:"I wouldn't call you a monster. I'd call you a friend."

Vae:"The only friend I have to tell me any truth, some weeks. Every monster friend I have tells me that I am always right. That Oixe will of course be mine, or anyone."

(I don't need to actually be afraid of Vae, you know. All she's got is complexity-80-to-100 spells with enough power to reach the Silver Moon and rip holes in the wall of the universe. I've got emotional manipulation. Much more effective.)

Me:"Whereas I have, perforce, much humility in saying how much I understand love. I won't say anything definitive about it one way or another."

Vae:"The exactly!"

So we discussed love for a while longer, and how hopelessly unpredictable, yet predictably hopeless, it is. Which was much more fun than discussing embezzling.

(no subject)

Sympathy for the Dragon [9 Hispis 4262]

Codicil to Previous Entry: Yes, indeed, emotional manipulation is exceedingly effective. But there is a price. You cannot persuade Vae that you are sympathetic and needy without risking her trying to help. Today, at least, she was calm and contemplative about it.

Vae:"And what spell would be the best for you, do you think?"

Me:"How about no spells?"

Vae:"Not a single spell? The trying I shall do of that!"

Me:"Oh, excellent. Then I won't need to have The Conversation."

Vae:"Not The Conversation please!"

So we spoke of other things for a while -- mostly about whether Oixe would be a suitable consort for Vae. In brief, the answer is that neither of us has any idea, but in the ordinary course of events she wouldn't spend a lot of time with Oixe in any case. Just a few intensely romantic encounters now and then ... where by "romance" we must include "acts of violence which would kill three mighty Gormoror heroes".

And then Vae wrapped me in her tail. "And what spell would help you in your loneliness now?"

Me:"No spells, actually."

Vae:"Oh, the right, no spells."

So I gave her her presents of the day (a small pottery cup and some drowsy-making herbal tisane), and forgot to get stuff to embezzle, and flew off for home.

And of course the monster was blocking the way to the Halflight Gate.

Vae:"The apology! The spell for you, I forgot it!"

Me:"I didn't want a spell."

Vae:"I know, and I don't want to give you one, but what can I do?"

Me:"Um ... teleport home for long enough for me to get into the gate?"

Vae:"There's a huge sorrow on me, but not a bit can I do that."

Me:"What?"

Vae:"The spell I am going to give you, and soon. If you choose quickly I think I can give you one you choose."

Me:"How about a really good fireproofing spell?" Which, presumably, nobody would notice unless I started cuddling with the seven-winged burning thing, or someone looked at me with much magic sense. So it'd be safe.

Vae:"And will that help you find an Orren to love you?"

Me:"No, not really."

Vae:"Sythyry, please, I know you don't want a Mentador spell, and I can't keep from giving you something for much longer."

Me:"Oh ... then ... make me smell appealing I guess."

Vae looked greatly relieved. "The appealing smell I can do! The reasonably safe that sounds like, too." So she tapped me with her tail. "There's a great sorrow on me, but I couldn't help it. And shall I stay for The Conversation?"

Yes, she did, not that either of us expect it to do any good anymore.

The Outcome

Anoof:"Who's the lucky Cani girl?"

Me:"Um ... either Enziet or Narngi, I suppose."

Anoof:"You seduced either my fiancee or my ex-fiancee, but are not sure which one?"

Me:"Not that I noticed. Oh, no. Do I smell like I did?"

Anoof:"Specifically, you smell like you ..." He sniffed closely, and wagged his tail a lot. "No, you don't smell like you did. You don't smell like yourself at all. You smell like you are a Cani woman about to receive her lover."

So, not only won't it help me get Orren (since they can't really smell it), I also have to watch out for Cani. Which is better than, say, getting lynched because I have a mind control spell which rapes every Orren nearby. (I'd lynch me, if I had that. Or at least stay out out of town.)

And I'm not really angry at Vae this time. Annoyed with myself for not leaving when she managed to not to do anything the first time, viz. when it was still safe.

Still ... I hate my job.

(no subject)

Sympathy for the Dragon [9 Hispis 4262]

Codicil to Previous Entry: Yes, indeed, emotional manipulation is exceedingly effective. But there is a price. You cannot persuade Vae that you are sympathetic and needy without risking her trying to help. Today, at least, she was calm and contemplative about it.

Vae:"And what spell would be the best for you, do you think?"

Me:"How about no spells?"

Vae:"Not a single spell? The trying I shall do of that!"

Me:"Oh, excellent. Then I won't need to have The Conversation."

Vae:"Not The Conversation please!"

So we spoke of other things for a while -- mostly about whether Oixe would be a suitable consort for Vae. In brief, the answer is that neither of us has any idea, but in the ordinary course of events she wouldn't spend a lot of time with Oixe in any case. Just a few intensely romantic encounters now and then ... where by "romance" we must include "acts of violence which would kill three mighty Gormoror heroes".

And then Vae wrapped me in her tail. "And what spell would help you in your loneliness now?"

Me:"No spells, actually."

Vae:"Oh, the right, no spells."

So I gave her her presents of the day (a small pottery cup and some drowsy-making herbal tisane), and forgot to get stuff to embezzle, and flew off for home.

And of course the monster was blocking the way to the Halflight Gate.

Vae:"The apology! The spell for you, I forgot it!"

Me:"I didn't want a spell."

Vae:"I know, and I don't want to give you one, but what can I do?"

Me:"Um ... teleport home for long enough for me to get into the gate?"

Vae:"There's a huge sorrow on me, but not a bit can I do that."

Me:"What?"

Vae:"The spell I am going to give you, and soon. If you choose quickly I think I can give you one you choose."

Me:"How about a really good fireproofing spell?" Which, presumably, nobody would notice unless I started cuddling with the seven-winged burning thing, or someone looked at me with much magic sense. So it'd be safe.

Vae:"And will that help you find an Orren to love you?"

Me:"No, not really."

Vae:"Sythyry, please, I know you don't want a Mentador spell, and I can't keep from giving you something for much longer."

Me:"Oh ... then ... make me smell appealing I guess."

Vae looked greatly relieved. "The appealing smell I can do! The reasonably safe that sounds like, too." So she tapped me with her tail. "There's a great sorrow on me, but I couldn't help it. And shall I stay for The Conversation?"

Yes, she did, not that either of us expect it to do any good anymore.

The Outcome

Anoof:"Who's the lucky Cani girl?"

Me:"Um ... either Enziet or Narngi, I suppose."

Anoof:"You seduced either my fiancee or my ex-fiancee, but are not sure which one?"

Me:"Not that I noticed. Oh, no. Do I smell like I did?"

Anoof:"Specifically, you smell like you ..." He sniffed closely, and wagged his tail a lot. "No, you don't smell like you did. You don't smell like yourself at all. You smell like you are a Cani woman about to receive her lover."

So, not only won't it help me get Orren (since they can't really smell it), I also have to watch out for Cani. Which is better than, say, getting lynched because I have a mind control spell which rapes every Orren nearby. (I'd lynch me, if I had that. Or at least stay out out of town.)

And I'm not really angry at Vae this time. Annoyed with myself for not leaving when she managed to not to do anything the first time, viz. when it was still safe.

Still ... I hate my job.