sythyry | Jun. 4th, 2005

Jun. 4th, 2005

In Which Everyone Acts Like a Monster [24 Lage 4261]

(Or, "Official Vheshrame Scold-a-Kaiju Day")

It is one flavor of challenge to scold someone who has just committed a terrible crime on you. It is another flavor of challenge to scold someone who doesn't seem to understand why you might be upset. It is a third flavor of challenge to scold someone who is your only way to get home from some ridiculous distance away. It is a fourth flavor of challenge to scold someone with a quite large audience of minor monsters.

I gave up on it, after a bit. Vae hadn't apologized or understood or anything.

Vae:"Let's have some cider and cephalopods." She was speaking Umtangeian, of course.

So we went into the finest restaurant in Bfelmykh, which is a hideous hovel called Shfreyn's. You might expect the finest restaurant in a city to have a clean floor, say, or polished walls. Or platters -- Shfreyn's used big leaves that they cut off of a shurikfry tree (there's no word in Ketherian for it) next door. When they remembered, they even washed the shurikfry leaves.

Shfreyn herself is a mherobump. She looked rather perplexed and worried when a pair of (evidently) primes walked in and ordered cider and cephalopods in (evidently) perfect Umtangeian.

(Aside: I realize that I don't know that Vae and I speak good Umtangeian. Her Ketherian is very odd -- perhaps her Umtangeian is just as odd.)

Cider comes quickly. It is, in this case, the juice of apples and ginger-roots and chili flowers and axacanthus flowers, fermented intensely. It's spicy and harsh and potent, but it doesn't catch fire if you breathe on it. Well, even if I breathe on it. But it tastes as though it ought to.

We were waiting for the cephalopods when two yuldakai and three hugeng stormed in to the restaurant. [Yuldakai are stinking stretched-out Rassimel, with pincers around their hands. Hugeng are huge levitating shrimp-serpents. -bb]

Vae waved happily to one of the yuldakai. "Hiio, Nthuur!"

Nthuur grew to double his original size, drew a sword of hardened glass that couldn't have been much smaller than a Herethroy's three-hander, and did his best to cut Vae in half.

His best would have cut me in half. I daresay his fifth-best would have cut me in half as well. Vae, I gather, generally expects trouble, and wears a vast heap of ridiculous defensive spells. Nthuur's sword was teleported to the ground beneath Vae's feet, turned into a very long and very flaccid pickled radish, and surrounded by an aura of stinging.

Vae rather petulantly said, "Nthuur? Why are you attacking me?"

I rather petulantly said, "Help!", perhaps because the other yuldakai was growing and drawing a huge sword and looking rather too eagerly at me. Vae absent-mindedly waved her tail through her defenses and transferred a double dozen of them to me.

The situation got rather confusing for a bit. Nthuur and the hugeng assaulted Vae en masse, I think, and the other yuldakai tried to attack me. I requested the services of the seven-winged burning thing that my famous grandparent's famous apprentice had made, which seemed a bit more appropriate and likely to be legal (well, by Vheshrame law if not by Bfelmykh) this time than when I used it on Milirant. I did have the presence of mind to try (and fail) to spont Quick Instant on it. The yuldakai did try to cut me in half, but Vae's spell turned it into a flaccid pickled radish. A flaccid pickled radish swung with full force by a giant yuldakai hurts a great deal, though, admittedly, less than a sword of hardened glass. I fiercely flew up to the ceiling and tried to stay away from it. The seven-winged burning thing disposed of the yuldakai -- I don't know if it burned her so thoroughly that no ashes were left, or whether she just teleported away.

Vae dealt with her enemies in her own way. When the fight was over:

One hugeng was a small and very ugly salt-shaker carved from dung-mastodon ivory in the shape of a masturbating frog.
The second hugeng had several dozen of Shfreyn's chalices embedded in him, and was dead from so many wounds.
The third hugeng's legs were all turned into vicious and angry serpents, and were striking at the hugeng's chest with poisonous fangs. The hugeng was thrashing around the room in terrible pain, and seemed basically doomed.
Nthuur was spread-eagled on a rack sort of thing made of very heavy amber beams, with his hands and feet embedded in the amber. He was wearing a collar of braided devastations which hurt my magic sense to look at.
The front wall of Shfreyn's Restaurant had been transformed into a wall of scorpions, which were stinging the other patrons.

Me:"Can we go home now? Fast?"

Vae:"Well ... that we can."

And three teleportations and two instants of falling later, we were back in the grove by the Halflight Gate. Vae, and me, and a still-racked Nthuur.

Vae:"Nthuur? Why did you attack me? It's a terrible bad idea, that much you know!"

Nthuur:"Despisèd Orren, I shall attack you and any sort of prime whenever I find it advisable. And, in particular, whenever I deem you outnumbered."He tried to teleport away from the rack, but Vae caught him in something very nasty and Locador-looking, and put him back.

Vae:"Nthuur? It's most of my life you've known me for.."

Me:"He doesn't recognize you looking like that. He thinks you're one of us."

Nthuur:"You? Who are you?"

Vae:"Vaisessasilmin" She turned back to her proper shape.

Nthuur got quite furious, and started berating her for looking like a prime and thereby forcing him to attack her. She didn't seem to understand his point either.

Vae:"Well, if I let you out, will you not attack Sythyry or anyone else around? For I'm here in peace, not in war, and it wouldn't please me to serve you the way I did the hugeng."

Nthuur would, indeed, be peaceful. He wanted to go back to Bfelmykh.

Vae:"Oh, surely! One moment, though!" She poked me with her tail a few times, and put another pile of defensive spells on me. I was, I'm afraid, a bit too shaken to have much to say about the matter. Or to realize the obvious.

Three teleportations and two instants of falling later, we were back by Shfreyn's, and the yuldakai was free.

But of course a good part of the city was in flames. The seven-winged burning thing had found a way to keep itself amused when it didn't have me around to defend anymore.

In Which Everyone Acts Like a Monster [24 Lage 4261]

(Or, "Official Vheshrame Scold-a-Kaiju Day")

I gave up on it, after a bit. Vae hadn't apologized or understood or anything.

Vae:"Let's have some cider and cephalopods." She was speaking Umtangeian, of course.

Shfreyn herself is a mherobump. She looked rather perplexed and worried when a pair of (evidently) primes walked in and ordered cider and cephalopods in (evidently) perfect Umtangeian.

(Aside: I realize that I don't know that Vae and I speak good Umtangeian. Her Ketherian is very odd -- perhaps her Umtangeian is just as odd.)

Vae waved happily to one of the yuldakai. "Hiio, Nthuur!"

Nthuur grew to double his original size, drew a sword of hardened glass that couldn't have been much smaller than a Herethroy's three-hander, and did his best to cut Vae in half.

Vae rather petulantly said, "Nthuur? Why are you attacking me?"

Vae dealt with her enemies in her own way. When the fight was over:

One hugeng was a small and very ugly salt-shaker carved from dung-mastodon ivory in the shape of a masturbating frog.
The second hugeng had several dozen of Shfreyn's chalices embedded in him, and was dead from so many wounds.
The third hugeng's legs were all turned into vicious and angry serpents, and were striking at the hugeng's chest with poisonous fangs. The hugeng was thrashing around the room in terrible pain, and seemed basically doomed.
Nthuur was spread-eagled on a rack sort of thing made of very heavy amber beams, with his hands and feet embedded in the amber. He was wearing a collar of braided devastations which hurt my magic sense to look at.
The front wall of Shfreyn's Restaurant had been transformed into a wall of scorpions, which were stinging the other patrons.

Me:"Can we go home now? Fast?"

Vae:"Well ... that we can."

And three teleportations and two instants of falling later, we were back in the grove by the Halflight Gate. Vae, and me, and a still-racked Nthuur.

Vae:"Nthuur? Why did you attack me? It's a terrible bad idea, that much you know!"

Vae:"Nthuur? It's most of my life you've known me for.."

Me:"He doesn't recognize you looking like that. He thinks you're one of us."

Nthuur:"You? Who are you?"

Vae:"Vaisessasilmin" She turned back to her proper shape.

Nthuur got quite furious, and started berating her for looking like a prime and thereby forcing him to attack her. She didn't seem to understand his point either.

Vae:"Well, if I let you out, will you not attack Sythyry or anyone else around? For I'm here in peace, not in war, and it wouldn't please me to serve you the way I did the hugeng."

Nthuur would, indeed, be peaceful. He wanted to go back to Bfelmykh.

Three teleportations and two instants of falling later, we were back by Shfreyn's, and the yuldakai was free.

But of course a good part of the city was in flames. The seven-winged burning thing had found a way to keep itself amused when it didn't have me around to defend anymore.

Originally published at Sythyry. Please leave any comments there.

In Which Everyone Acts Like a Monster [24 Lage
4261]

(Or, “Official Vheshrame Scold-a-Kaiju Day”)

It is one flavor of challenge to scold someone who has just
committed a terrible crime on you. It is another flavor of
challenge to scold someone who doesn’t seem to understand
why you might be upset. It is a third flavor of challenge
to scold someone who is your only way to get home from some
ridiculous distance away. It is a fourth flavor of
challenge to scold someone with a quite large audience of
minor monsters.

I gave up on it, after a bit. Vae hadn’t apologized or
understood or anything.

Vae:“Let’s have some cider and
cephalopods.” She was speaking Umtangeian, of course.

So we went into the finest restaurant in Bfelmykh, which is
a hideous hovel called Shfreyn’s. You might expect the
finest restaurant in a city to have a clean floor, say, or
polished walls. Or platters — Shfreyn’s used big leaves
that they cut off of a shurikfry tree (there’s no word in
Ketherian for it) next door. When they remembered, they even
washed the shurikfry leaves.

Shfreyn herself is a mherobump. She looked rather perplexed
and worried when a pair of (evidently) primes walked in and
ordered cider and cephalopods in (evidently) perfect
Umtangeian.

(Aside: I realize that I don’t know that Vae and I speak
good Umtangeian. Her Ketherian is very odd — perhaps her
Umtangeian is just as odd.)

Cider comes quickly. It is, in this case, the juice of
apples and ginger-roots and chili flowers and axacanthus
flowers, fermented intensely. It’s spicy and harsh and
potent, but it doesn’t catch fire if you breathe on it.
Well, even if I breathe on it. But it tastes as though it
ought to.

We were waiting for the cephalopods when two yuldakai and
three hugeng stormed in to the restaurant. [Yuldakai are
stinking stretched-out Rassimel, with pincers around their
hands. Hugeng are huge levitating shrimp-serpents. -bb]

Vae waved happily to one of the yuldakai. “Hiio, Nthuur!”

Nthuur grew to double his original size, drew a sword of
hardened glass that couldn’t have been much smaller than a
Herethroy’s three-hander, and did his best to cut Vae in
half.

His best would have cut me in half. I daresay his
fifth-best would have cut me in half as well. Vae, I
gather, generally expects trouble, and wears a vast heap of
ridiculous defensive spells. Nthuur’s sword was teleported
to the ground beneath Vae’s feet, turned into a very long
and very flaccid pickled radish, and surrounded by an aura of
stinging.

Vae rather petulantly said, “Nthuur? Why are you attacking me?”

I rather petulantly said, “Help!”, perhaps because the other
yuldakai was growing and drawing a huge sword and looking
rather too eagerly at me. Vae absent-mindedly waved her tail
through her defenses and transferred a double dozen of them
to me.

The situation got rather confusing for a bit. Nthuur and
the hugeng assaulted Vae en masse, I think, and the other
yuldakai tried to attack me. I requested the services of
the seven-winged burning thing that my famous grandparent’s
famous apprentice had made, which seemed a bit more
appropriate and likely to be legal (well, by Vheshrame law
if not by Bfelmykh) this time than when I used it on
Milirant. I did have the presence of mind to try (and fail)
to spont Quick Instant on it. The yuldakai did try
to cut me in half, but Vae’s spell turned it into a flaccid
pickled radish. A flaccid pickled radish swung with full
force by a giant yuldakai hurts a great deal, though,
admittedly, less than a sword of hardened glass. I fiercely
flew up to the ceiling and tried to stay away from it.
The seven-winged burning thing disposed of the yuldakai — I
don’t know if it burned her so thoroughly that no ashes were
left, or whether she just teleported away.

Vae dealt with her enemies in her own way. When the fight
was over:

One hugeng was a small and very ugly salt-shaker carved
from dung-mastodon ivory in the shape of a masturbating
frog.
The second hugeng had several dozen of Shfreyn’s chalices
embedded in him, and was dead from so many wounds.
The third hugeng’s legs were all turned into vicious and
angry serpents, and were striking at the hugeng’s chest with
poisonous fangs. The hugeng was thrashing around the room in
terrible pain, and seemed basically doomed.
Nthuur was spread-eagled on a rack sort of thing made of
very heavy amber beams, with his hands and feet embedded in
the amber. He was wearing a collar of braided devastations
which hurt my magic sense to look at.
The front wall of Shfreyn’s Restaurant had been
transformed into a wall of scorpions, which were stinging
the other patrons.

Me:“Can we go home now? Fast?”

Vae:“Well … that we can.”

And three teleportations and two instants of falling later,
we were back in the grove by the Halflight Gate. Vae, and
me, and a still-racked Nthuur.

Vae:“Nthuur? Why did you attack me? It’s a
terrible bad idea, that much you know!”

Nthuur:“Despisèd Orren, I shall attack
you and any sort of prime whenever I find it
advisable. And, in particular, whenever I deem you
outnumbered.”He tried to teleport away from the rack,
but Vae caught him in something very nasty and
Locador-looking, and put him back.

Vae:“Nthuur? It’s most of my life you’ve known
me for..”

Me:“He doesn’t recognize you looking like
that. He thinks you’re one of us.”

Nthuur:“You? Who are you?”

Vae:“Vaisessasilmin” She turned back to
her proper shape.

Nthuur got quite furious, and started berating her for
looking like a prime and thereby forcing him to attack
her. She didn’t seem to understand his point either.

Vae:“Well, if I let you out, will you not
attack Sythyry or anyone else around? For I’m here in
peace, not in war, and it wouldn’t please me to serve you
the way I did the hugeng.”

Nthuur would, indeed, be peaceful. He wanted to go back to
Bfelmykh.

Vae:“Oh, surely! One moment, though!” She
poked me with her tail a few times, and put another pile of
defensive spells on me. I was, I’m afraid, a bit too shaken
to have much to say about the matter. Or to realize the obvious.

Three teleportations and two instants of falling later, we
were back by Shfreyn’s, and the yuldakai was free.

But of course a good part of the city was in flames. The
seven-winged burning thing had found a way to keep itself
amused when it didn’t have me around to defend anymore.

Originally published at Sythyry. Please leave any comments there.

In Which Everyone Acts Like a Monster [24 Lage
4261]

(Or, “Official Vheshrame Scold-a-Kaiju Day”)

I gave up on it, after a bit. Vae hadn’t apologized or
understood or anything.

Vae:“Let’s have some cider and
cephalopods.” She was speaking Umtangeian, of course.

Shfreyn herself is a mherobump. She looked rather perplexed
and worried when a pair of (evidently) primes walked in and
ordered cider and cephalopods in (evidently) perfect
Umtangeian.

(Aside: I realize that I don’t know that Vae and I speak
good Umtangeian. Her Ketherian is very odd — perhaps her
Umtangeian is just as odd.)

We were waiting for the cephalopods when two yuldakai and
three hugeng stormed in to the restaurant. [Yuldakai are
stinking stretched-out Rassimel, with pincers around their
hands. Hugeng are huge levitating shrimp-serpents. -bb]

Vae waved happily to one of the yuldakai. “Hiio, Nthuur!”

Nthuur grew to double his original size, drew a sword of
hardened glass that couldn’t have been much smaller than a
Herethroy’s three-hander, and did his best to cut Vae in
half.

His best would have cut me in half. I daresay his
fifth-best would have cut me in half as well. Vae, I
gather, generally expects trouble, and wears a vast heap of
ridiculous defensive spells. Nthuur’s sword was teleported
to the ground beneath Vae’s feet, turned into a very long
and very flaccid pickled radish, and surrounded by an aura of
stinging.

Vae rather petulantly said, “Nthuur? Why are you attacking me?”

The situation got rather confusing for a bit. Nthuur and
the hugeng assaulted Vae en masse, I think, and the other
yuldakai tried to attack me. I requested the services of
the seven-winged burning thing that my famous grandparent’s
famous apprentice had made, which seemed a bit more
appropriate and likely to be legal (well, by Vheshrame law
if not by Bfelmykh) this time than when I used it on
Milirant. I did have the presence of mind to try (and fail)
to spont Quick Instant on it. The yuldakai did try
to cut me in half, but Vae’s spell turned it into a flaccid
pickled radish. A flaccid pickled radish swung with full
force by a giant yuldakai hurts a great deal, though,
admittedly, less than a sword of hardened glass. I fiercely
flew up to the ceiling and tried to stay away from it.
The seven-winged burning thing disposed of the yuldakai — I
don’t know if it burned her so thoroughly that no ashes were
left, or whether she just teleported away.

Vae dealt with her enemies in her own way. When the fight
was over:

One hugeng was a small and very ugly salt-shaker carved
from dung-mastodon ivory in the shape of a masturbating
frog.
The second hugeng had several dozen of Shfreyn’s chalices
embedded in him, and was dead from so many wounds.
The third hugeng’s legs were all turned into vicious and
angry serpents, and were striking at the hugeng’s chest with
poisonous fangs. The hugeng was thrashing around the room in
terrible pain, and seemed basically doomed.
Nthuur was spread-eagled on a rack sort of thing made of
very heavy amber beams, with his hands and feet embedded in
the amber. He was wearing a collar of braided devastations
which hurt my magic sense to look at.
The front wall of Shfreyn’s Restaurant had been
transformed into a wall of scorpions, which were stinging
the other patrons.

Me:“Can we go home now? Fast?”

Vae:“Well … that we can.”

And three teleportations and two instants of falling later,
we were back in the grove by the Halflight Gate. Vae, and
me, and a still-racked Nthuur.

Vae:“Nthuur? Why did you attack me? It’s a
terrible bad idea, that much you know!”

Vae:“Nthuur? It’s most of my life you’ve known
me for..”

Me:“He doesn’t recognize you looking like
that. He thinks you’re one of us.”

Nthuur:“You? Who are you?”

Vae:“Vaisessasilmin” She turned back to
her proper shape.

Nthuur got quite furious, and started berating her for
looking like a prime and thereby forcing him to attack
her. She didn’t seem to understand his point either.

Vae:“Well, if I let you out, will you not
attack Sythyry or anyone else around? For I’m here in
peace, not in war, and it wouldn’t please me to serve you
the way I did the hugeng.”

Nthuur would, indeed, be peaceful. He wanted to go back to
Bfelmykh.

Three teleportations and two instants of falling later, we
were back by Shfreyn’s, and the yuldakai was free.

But of course a good part of the city was in flames. The
seven-winged burning thing had found a way to keep itself
amused when it didn’t have me around to defend anymore.

Aftermaths [24 Lage 4261]

The Irrigation

Vae insisted on staying for a while and putting out the fires. She did this by means of a mighty thunderstorm, of course, which probably did as much harm as it did good. Or more if the lightning hit anyone. (I returned the seven-winged burning thing to its usual place, of course.)

She didn't help the hugeng she had destroyed. "Disgusting and vicious half-people, they are, and it's me and Sythyry they attacked." The blee and mherobump and taptet didn't seem to mind, or, perhaps, didn't seem to want to argue.

(In all honesty, I hadn't burned up that much of Bfelmykh -- two or three dozen houses were on fire, and they had had less than a third of an hour to burn.. After the rain, a couple were probably not safe to live in anymore. The seven-winged burning thing was just bored, not trying to destroy the city.)

She made up with Nthuur. She more or less made out with Nthuur. I was not jealous. I would not have been jealous even if she'd done it in Orren form.

I didn't ask about the other yuldakai. Despite my knowing the language, nobody in Bfelmykh wanted to talk to me.

And then she brought us (herself and me, not Nthuur) back to Vheshrame.

Vae:"That's Bfelmykh. You can see why I like it!"

No. No, I could not. I knew better than to ask her to explain, though. She'd probably explain with some other act of sorcery and devastation.

The Conversation (part 1)

Me:"Vae? Please don't do that sort of thing again."

Vae:"Oh?"

Me:"It's very disturbing. And not very safe for me."

Vae:"Oh, there's a sorrow on me for any distressing I've put in you!" She sounded sincere.

Me:"So, please don't, well, cast spells on me without asking me first. Or take me on trips to distant non-prime branches. Or anything like that."

Vae:"Well, if you prefer it that way, I shall not do."

Me:"Thanks!" I am, in fact, determined to be the best ambassador to Vaisessasilmin that I can be. Some days that just isn't a very good one.

Me:"Oh, and I've still got this book for you."

Vae:"Oooh! Wonderfully!"

She sort of danced around happily with it for a bit. At least it didn't look like an orgasm.

We chatted about this and that for a few more minutes. I wasn't at the top of my form, I'm afraid.

Me:"I'm sorry -- I'm a touch rattled today. Let's talk more next time, when you've had a chance to read some stories?"

Vae:"Oh, the certainly!"

Me:"Very well -- cheerio!"

And she tapped me with her tail and tried to teleport me home. Just as she'd promised five minutes ago not to do. Of course it didn't work, since the city wall is in the way, but it did make the city wall ring like a huge bell to the Locador part of the magic sense, and probably wake up every sorcerer in Vheshrame Mene.

Me:"Vae? You said you wouldn't do that."

Vae:"Oh, the truly! I'm sorry. I shan't do it again."

Me:"No problem, really. But I'd rather fly."

We said goodbyeish kinds of things, and I flew back to the Halflight Gate. And realized I'd forgotten to ask what to get her next, or get any trade goods, or whatever.

The Interrogation

Of course the whole city guard and every sorcerer in Vheshrame was waiting for me. Vae's bonging the city wall wasn't even the noisy bit. She had drawn a very bright Locador line from Vheshrame to Bfelmykh, and then underscored it three more times. Teleporting a region, the way she had done, is a very cacophanous process. It is most visible from outside of our universe, as a glowing molten line pointing conveniently at Vheshrame.

This is not entirely a good thing.

Indeed, Vheshrame (and Bfelmykh, not that anyone should care) are now nicely pointed out to any offworld unpleasantnesses that might be looking for a good World Tree vacation spot.

I explained my role in the matter about 72347829510965187324653287462938465132498327509243 times, each one more frustrated than the last one. Several people seemed to be under the impression that I had some influence over Vae's actions.

I offered to resign. Several friends supported my offer. No such luck.

Finally, four good sorcerers did some very fancy magic to heal the glowy bit caused by the first jump. Now the offworld monsters are pointed at either nowhere-in-particular in the middle air, or Bfelmykh.

Some other sorcerers contemplated undoing what Vae did to my mind, but the dangers are large and I don't really need to know what "If you can read this, you're too close" really said, so we decided not to.

The Assignation

Ilottat and most of my roommates were waiting for me when I got back home. Brandy. Dinner. Brandy. Sex. Brandy. Ilottat tucked me into my fireplace, and curled up on the bed in case I wanted company in the night. I woke up an hour ago, dreaming of that yuldakai the seven-winged burning thing might have killed, and felt mostly sober and like writing to put my head in some little bit of order. Now I shall have more brandy and go sleep on my boyfriend.

Aftermaths [24 Lage 4261]

The Irrigation

She made up with Nthuur. She more or less made out with Nthuur. I was not jealous. I would not have been jealous even if she'd done it in Orren form.

I didn't ask about the other yuldakai. Despite my knowing the language, nobody in Bfelmykh wanted to talk to me.

And then she brought us (herself and me, not Nthuur) back to Vheshrame.

Vae:"That's Bfelmykh. You can see why I like it!"

No. No, I could not. I knew better than to ask her to explain, though. She'd probably explain with some other act of sorcery and devastation.

The Conversation (part 1)

Me:"Vae? Please don't do that sort of thing again."

Vae:"Oh?"

Me:"It's very disturbing. And not very safe for me."

Vae:"Oh, there's a sorrow on me for any distressing I've put in you!" She sounded sincere.

Me:"So, please don't, well, cast spells on me without asking me first. Or take me on trips to distant non-prime branches. Or anything like that."

Vae:"Well, if you prefer it that way, I shall not do."

Me:"Thanks!" I am, in fact, determined to be the best ambassador to Vaisessasilmin that I can be. Some days that just isn't a very good one.

Me:"Oh, and I've still got this book for you."

Vae:"Oooh! Wonderfully!"

She sort of danced around happily with it for a bit. At least it didn't look like an orgasm.

We chatted about this and that for a few more minutes. I wasn't at the top of my form, I'm afraid.

Me:"I'm sorry -- I'm a touch rattled today. Let's talk more next time, when you've had a chance to read some stories?"

Vae:"Oh, the certainly!"

Me:"Very well -- cheerio!"

Me:"Vae? You said you wouldn't do that."

Vae:"Oh, the truly! I'm sorry. I shan't do it again."

Me:"No problem, really. But I'd rather fly."

We said goodbyeish kinds of things, and I flew back to the Halflight Gate. And realized I'd forgotten to ask what to get her next, or get any trade goods, or whatever.

The Interrogation

This is not entirely a good thing.

Indeed, Vheshrame (and Bfelmykh, not that anyone should care) are now nicely pointed out to any offworld unpleasantnesses that might be looking for a good World Tree vacation spot.

I offered to resign. Several friends supported my offer. No such luck.

The Assignation

Originally published at Sythyry. Please leave any comments there.

Aftermaths [24 Lage 4261]

The Irrigation

Vae insisted on staying for a while and putting out the
fires. She did this by means of a mighty thunderstorm, of
course, which probably did as much harm as it did good. Or
more if the lightning hit anyone. (I returned the
seven-winged burning thing to its usual place, of course.)

She didn’t help the hugeng she had destroyed. “Disgusting
and vicious half-people, they are, and it’s me and Sythyry
they attacked.” The blee and mherobump and taptet didn’t
seem to mind, or, perhaps, didn’t seem to want to argue.

(In all honesty, I hadn’t burned up that much of Bfelmykh –
two or three dozen houses were on fire, and they had had
less than a third of an hour to burn.. After the rain, a
couple were probably not safe to live in anymore. The
seven-winged burning thing was just bored, not trying to
destroy the city.)

She made up with Nthuur. She more or less made out
with Nthuur. I was not jealous. I would not have been
jealous even if she’d done it in Orren form.

I didn’t ask about the other yuldakai. Despite my knowing
the language, nobody in Bfelmykh wanted to talk to me.

And then she brought us (herself and me, not Nthuur) back to Vheshrame.

Vae:“That’s Bfelmykh. You can see why I like
it!”

No. No, I could not. I knew better than to ask her to
explain, though. She’d probably explain with some other act
of sorcery and devastation.

The Conversation (part 1)

Me:“Vae? Please don’t do that sort of thing
again.”

Vae:“Oh?”

Me:“It’s very disturbing. And not very safe
for me.”

Vae:“Oh, there’s a sorrow on me for any
distressing I’ve put in you!” She sounded sincere.

Me:“So, please don’t, well, cast spells on me
without asking me first. Or take me on trips to distant
non-prime branches. Or anything like that.”

Vae:“Well, if you prefer it that way, I shall
not do.”

Me:“Thanks!” I am, in fact, determined to
be the best ambassador to Vaisessasilmin that I can be.
Some days that just isn’t a very good one.

Me:“Oh, and I’ve still got this book for
you.”

Vae:“Oooh! Wonderfully!”

She sort of danced around happily with it for a bit. At
least it didn’t look like an orgasm.

We chatted about this and that for a few more minutes. I
wasn’t at the top of my form, I’m afraid.

Me:“I’m sorry — I’m a touch rattled
today. Let’s talk more next time, when you’ve had a chance
to read some stories?”

Vae:“Oh, the certainly!”

Me:“Very well — cheerio!”

And she tapped me with her tail and tried to teleport me
home. Just as she’d promised five minutes ago not to do. Of
course it didn’t work, since the city wall is in the way,
but it did make the city wall ring like a huge bell to the
Locador part of the magic sense, and probably wake up every
sorcerer in Vheshrame Mene.

Me:“Vae? You said you wouldn’t do
that.”

Vae:“Oh, the truly! I’m sorry. I shan’t do it
again.”

Me:“No problem, really. But I’d rather
fly.”

We said goodbyeish kinds of things, and I flew back to the
Halflight Gate. And realized I’d forgotten to ask what to
get her next, or get any trade goods, or whatever.

The Interrogation

Of course the whole city guard and every sorcerer in
Vheshrame was waiting for me. Vae’s bonging the city wall
wasn’t even the noisy bit. She had drawn a very bright
Locador line from Vheshrame to Bfelmykh, and then
underscored it three more times. Teleporting a region, the
way she had done, is a very cacophanous process. It is most
visible from outside of our universe, as a glowing molten
line pointing conveniently at Vheshrame.

This is not entirely a good thing.

Indeed, Vheshrame (and Bfelmykh, not that anyone should
care) are now nicely pointed out to any offworld
unpleasantnesses that might be looking for a good World Tree
vacation spot.

I explained my role in the matter about
72347829510965187324653287462938465132498327509243 times,
each one more frustrated than the last one. Several people
seemed to be under the impression that I had some influence
over Vae’s actions.

I offered to resign. Several friends supported my offer.
No such luck.

Finally, four good sorcerers did some very fancy magic to
heal the glowy bit caused by the first jump. Now the
offworld monsters are pointed at either
nowhere-in-particular in the middle air, or Bfelmykh.

Some other sorcerers contemplated undoing what Vae did to my
mind, but the dangers are large and I don’t really need to
know what “If you
can read
this, you’re
too
close” really said, so we decided not to.

The Assignation

Ilottat and most of my roommates were waiting for me when I
got back home. Brandy. Dinner. Brandy. Sex. Brandy.
Ilottat tucked me into my fireplace, and curled up on the
bed in case I wanted company in the night. I woke up an
hour ago, dreaming of that yuldakai the seven-winged burning
thing might have killed, and felt mostly sober and like
writing to put my head in some little bit of order. Now I
shall have more brandy and go sleep on my boyfriend.

Originally published at Sythyry. Please leave any comments there.

Aftermaths [24 Lage 4261]

The Irrigation

Vae insisted on staying for a while and putting out the
fires. She did this by means of a mighty thunderstorm, of
course, which probably did as much harm as it did good. Or
more if the lightning hit anyone. (I returned the
seven-winged burning thing to its usual place, of course.)

She made up with Nthuur. She more or less made out
with Nthuur. I was not jealous. I would not have been
jealous even if she’d done it in Orren form.

I didn’t ask about the other yuldakai. Despite my knowing
the language, nobody in Bfelmykh wanted to talk to me.

And then she brought us (herself and me, not Nthuur) back to Vheshrame.

Vae:“That’s Bfelmykh. You can see why I like
it!”

No. No, I could not. I knew better than to ask her to
explain, though. She’d probably explain with some other act
of sorcery and devastation.

The Conversation (part 1)

Me:“Vae? Please don’t do that sort of thing
again.”

Vae:“Oh?”

Me:“It’s very disturbing. And not very safe
for me.”

Vae:“Oh, there’s a sorrow on me for any
distressing I’ve put in you!” She sounded sincere.

Me:“So, please don’t, well, cast spells on me
without asking me first. Or take me on trips to distant
non-prime branches. Or anything like that.”

Vae:“Well, if you prefer it that way, I shall
not do.”

Me:“Thanks!” I am, in fact, determined to
be the best ambassador to Vaisessasilmin that I can be.
Some days that just isn’t a very good one.

Me:“Oh, and I’ve still got this book for
you.”

Vae:“Oooh! Wonderfully!”

She sort of danced around happily with it for a bit. At
least it didn’t look like an orgasm.

We chatted about this and that for a few more minutes. I
wasn’t at the top of my form, I’m afraid.

Me:“I’m sorry — I’m a touch rattled
today. Let’s talk more next time, when you’ve had a chance
to read some stories?”

Vae:“Oh, the certainly!”

Me:“Very well — cheerio!”

Me:“Vae? You said you wouldn’t do
that.”

Vae:“Oh, the truly! I’m sorry. I shan’t do it
again.”

Me:“No problem, really. But I’d rather
fly.”

We said goodbyeish kinds of things, and I flew back to the
Halflight Gate. And realized I’d forgotten to ask what to
get her next, or get any trade goods, or whatever.

The Interrogation

This is not entirely a good thing.

Indeed, Vheshrame (and Bfelmykh, not that anyone should
care) are now nicely pointed out to any offworld
unpleasantnesses that might be looking for a good World Tree
vacation spot.

I explained my role in the matter about
72347829510965187324653287462938465132498327509243 times,
each one more frustrated than the last one. Several people
seemed to be under the impression that I had some influence
over Vae’s actions.

I offered to resign. Several friends supported my offer.
No such luck.

Finally, four good sorcerers did some very fancy magic to
heal the glowy bit caused by the first jump. Now the
offworld monsters are pointed at either
nowhere-in-particular in the middle air, or Bfelmykh.

The Assignation

Ilottat and most of my roommates were waiting for me when I
got back home. Brandy. Dinner. Brandy. Sex. Brandy.
Ilottat tucked me into my fireplace, and curled up on the
bed in case I wanted company in the night. I woke up an
hour ago, dreaming of that yuldakai the seven-winged burning
thing might have killed, and felt mostly sober and like
writing to put my head in some little bit of order. Now I
shall have more brandy and go sleep on my boyfriend.