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[sythyry]

Bad Reception [3 Oix 4261]

At the palace, an hour before sunout, in a little private reception: the Duke, Hezimikkinen, Kaim-Su, a modest sprinkling of counsellors, a very ragged-looking Levande, a serenely smiling and milkily burping Ficina. Seeks-Treason Strenata. Me.

Some snacks that looked like Flooosh's best breakfast box, but were made entirely of liver paste, or marzipan, or painted cheese.

It was a little private reception in order to honor Strenata and Vae for our victory over Oorah Thrassen. Hence the snacks.

Victory

Which is to say that the Duke has declared it a victory. He thinks the giant illusion is a juvenile and magically-inferior response, and thus, in the eyes of the world, Vheshrame has proved its might and wit over Oorah Thrassen, and, to some extent, squared accounts from our previous defeat.

Nobody but the Duke gets a vote on this topic, or not inside Vheshrame, at least. It doesn't feel terribly victorious to me. To me it feels that we have an insanely powerful and insanely insane monster lurking around the edges of our country, that we can't evict and can only marginally control, but that she's young enough and inexperienced enough and desparate enough for even a few scraps of kindness that she'll do really ridiculous things for a few marzipan teddy bears and a Zi Ri's smile or something.

Titles

The Duke confirmed her title, and mine. This is a sort of odd little ceremony in which he gets to say, in effect, "Glad you have your title, 'cause you deserve it." (But not "I'm so happy about you that I will give you any bigger title or other goodies at the moment", though, since it is an indication of Ducal favor, other goodies are likely to show up from some direction or other.)

It's a very odd ceremony for Strenata, who, as of two months ago, was distinctly opposed to aristocracy. Now she is aristocracy. I haven't asked her opinion of aristocracy now.

It's an even odder ceremony for me, since my rank comes from being a Zi Ri. Which is about equal to being an esquire -- the lowest noble title -- in Vheshrame. (Not that the Duke offered me an esquireship, which he could have done.) Only, well, the ceremony said, in effect, that the Duke admitted that I am, in fact, a Zi Ri. It's not like there's much doubt of that, even if I do scurry to the Daukrhame embassy in Orren shape when my boyfriend deigns to see me.

Oh, and I got a few sharp comments afterwards about having a different-species boyfriend -- the "I hope you're not going to be a degenerate like so many young nobles are nowadays." sort. Also some sharp comments about having a foreign boyfriend.

Wealth

I got some other sharp comments from Sir Eddarna, the undersecretary of the Exchequer (and not a prostitute, despite what Esory said).

Eddarna:"Sythyry, just for our records, how much of those fees for the breakfast boxes did you keep for yourself?"

Me:"Nothing."

Eddarna:"Well, of course, nothing. Nobody honorable or respectable would dare embezzle a single lozen from the Duke. Nonetheless, well, everyone connected with such a project -- with any project! -- gets remuneration commensurate with their efforts and talents, just as a matter of course. What sort of remuneration did you get?"

Me:"All the breakfast boxes I could eat."

Eddarna:"This is not, actually, a matter for witty epigraphs. Indeed, a clear distinguisher between embezzling and proper remuneration is a clear, if informal, accounting to the Exchequer."

Me:"Witlessly, then: nothing."

Eddarna:"O Zi Ri, know this: that the entire matter of the pastries was very cheap, as these things go, and that even if your share were the whole of the treasury's contribution, it would hardly be exceptional among proper remuneration from this sort of endeavour."

First, I looked stupid for a while as I tried to figure out what he meant. Then I looked stupid for a while as I said, "That's good, but I still didn't keep anything."

Eddarna:"O Zi Ri, know this, as well: the only crime worse than stealing from the Duke is stealing from the Duke and lying about it."

Me:"Doorwaying has been declared no crime then, in Vheshrame? I've a nendrai who'll be glad to hear that." Not a wise response, in retrospect, but (1) I had already told him the answer several times, and (2) I had come to this reception instead of delecting my delectable Orren, and I was not pleased of it.

Eddarna:"Well! I shall be sure to investigate this matter more closely. If you do find that you have something to say on the topic -- politely! -- be sure to report it to the Office of the Exchequer. At your earliest convenience." And he stomped off.

Family

Ficina exploded in a huge Phoenix Egg of wailing, and Levande had to go before I could properly chat with her.

A bit later, Hezimikkinen came and tried to get the same information out of me, but zie did believe that I was too clueless to, um, remunerate myself. "Eitharheinen won't be pleased, that you had the chance to earn some significant money for yourself, but that you chose to rely on zir stipend." I apologized to zir and promised to steal the Duke's jewelled arsewiper at the next chance. After seeing that illusion, it is very challenging not to regard the Duke in a quite scatological light.

The whole thing took about an hour and a half, which is to say, only long enough for me to truly annoy two people.

Aftermath

On the way home...

Strenata:"Well, thank you for all your work in this, Sythyry." I got a nice chaste hug for thanks, which, honestly, pleased me more than the whole reception.

Me:(something or other polite)

Strenata:"I couldn't persuade anyone to hold it outside the city."

Me:"Outside the city?"

Strenata:"So Vae could come."

I had forgotten about my ambassadee.

Miserable sort of honors reception, which the monster being honored isn't even allowed to come to it, isn't it?

[Poll #598756]

Comments

[redbird]

I am not at all convinced that you should dispose of Ilottat, but if you want a reason, the last is the one that fits best with my own predilections. One of my own partners is foreign, and doesn't even live in the same city as I do; this doesn't seem to be a barrier to our relationship.

Is it too late to remunerate yourself?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid it is: Floosh, the Academy Bakery, and a myriad farmers and millers and such have the money. The right way to do it, I think would have been to ask the duke for half again what Floosh needed, and, um, reserve the difference for contingencies. And tell Sir Eddarna about it afterwards.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

And I'm glad you're not convinced of it. Most people I know, and most monsters, are quite convinced.

[nixve.livejournal.com]

From what I've seen of Ilottat, he is too much on the "jerk" side of things for me to want to date him.

The main question is: are you happy with the relationship? He may seem like a jerk to me, but even if he's not a jerk in your mind, that still doesn't necessarily follow that he's right for you. And you're the one who is going to have to decide that.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Out of the nine days of a week, I'm delighted with him about five and furious with him about four. Or vice-versa in a bad week.

But ... where else am I gonna get a count?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Does 'count' really count for that much?

I don't necesarily think you need to dispose of him, but the foreign and glarey-duke-eye bit might cause trouble for you and him both, and I've always felt it's best to be practical about such things. You should only take risks for things that are important!

Being delighted five days in nine seems worth some risk, tho.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Hmm... Strenata and Rhedwy and their friends could sneak through the verticals to Vae's home in time for your next ambassadorring, and when she kidnaps you off they could pop out of the walls and scream 'surprise!' and have presents or something.

...

Or maybe that wouldn't be a such good idea.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

... no, let's not set out to scare the nendrai ...

[haikujaguar.livejournal.com]

O Zi Ri, I have only answered your poll because I dearly wished to tell you that Ilottat is rather a jerk and well disposed of.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I wish I could argue wholly convincingly otherwise.

[kensaro.livejournal.com]

Sounds like the best plan, claim 'additional expenses' with the duke, then have it accounted for.

[wave-cannon.livejournal.com]

I say you get rid of Ilottat.
Use a large daikon root for the job, even.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Alas! I have not been such a poor or protuberant bedmate -- he will instantly notice the difference!

[wave-cannon.livejournal.com]

I meant to club him with the root, not use it as a decoy.
The lady in the picture holds an excellent specimen

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Assuming that the monster in the picture is roughly the size of an Orren ... um ... how on the branch am I supposed to pick up that root, much less club him with it?

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

I would rather think Sir Eddarna was asking you how much you wanted to be paid for your part in arranging this entire excursion. It is customary for people to be paid for using their time on behalf of another, is it not?

Yes, the Duke is the ruler of your city-state; however, he and his treasurer no doubt recognize that they cannot thus extort work from people, or they will have no one who wishes to live there.

However, it may be that nobles among your society tend to believe that it is 'beneath their station' to be paid for their work, as if they were common laborers. Hence, it would have been inappropriate of Sir Eddarna to put it in such a fashion. Hence, the rather circuitous circumlocution. He has left the door wide open for you to place a request for some modest sums, for your time and energy expended upon the Duke's behalf.

The only difficult part would be, ah, calculating how much is 'fair'. And in this case, Sir Eddarna has already calculated that for you - as much as the treasury has already paid would be reasonable.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Well ... no. Being paid for work isn't exactly beneath one's station, though many kinds of work are, I guess. Enchantment isn't beneath anyone's station, for one thing.

In situations such as this, I am expected to decide my own wages in advance, and add them into the final bill. (The treasurers may complain about the total, but I gather that, if the total is acceptable, it's my responsibility to divide it up in such a way that everything gets done. And keep the remainder.) We're certainly not expected to work for free. I just didn't quite realize that I had gotten in that sort of situation.

[wave-cannon.livejournal.com]

Animate it with magic and hope that it will follow your instructions?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I must admit that I am not a mighty mystical warrior, and, incidentally, I have no Holocaust War weapons or other seven-winged burning things.

Anyways, even if I do break up with him, do I also have to club him with a vegetable? This is not a Vheshrame custom -- I take it that it is some barbaric custom of your own universe?

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Well, then! It remains to decide some suitable amount. Perhaps you might expense the cost of throwing an honoring ceremony upon Vae, should you not wish to accept additional largesse for yourself.

Perhaps this is why Esory described Sir Eddarna as a prostitute - of such a certainty that people must be paid for their time, that it causes others to see him as mercenarily minded as, well, such a person might be.

[wave-cannon.livejournal.com]

Well, it depends on the degree of antipathy...
I prefer to bludgeon my ex's with root vegetables, or eat them.
If one really, really wishes to show extreme contempt for a former lover, it's custom to sue them.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Eat the ex-lovers, or the root vegetables?

[wave-cannon.livejournal.com]

The ex-lovers.
Sometimes with the root vegetables.
Boiled turnips make for a delicious addition to soup.

[gavinfox.livejournal.com]

Um. Sythyry... you realize that this monster is lying to you and having a wonderful laugh at your expense?

And, actually, that species in the picture is probably the same species that most of the monsters who reply to this journal are. The locador spell sort of managed to make your journal accessible from a world containing that species as its only prime species. (Of course, just because a species is prime in another world doesnt make it any less of a monster to you, now does it?)

[goodluckfox.livejournal.com]

"...To me it feels that we have an insanely powerful and insanely insane monster lurking around the edges of our country, that we can't evict and can only marginally control..."

That sounds familiar. We have a power source that doubles as a weapon, and that is a good description of how some of us feel about it. It's too late to unlearn the secret; too many people know about it. It simultaneously is both our biggest threat, but has kept the peace for over 50 years (for certain values of peace). It is both sword and plowshare at the same time.

Warning: Watch out for Oorah Thrassen sending out their OWN ambassador to Vae. Since their last attempt at killing her with that band of hapless Gormoror didn't work, what if they send someone who brings her nice gifts and is always nice to her and never has The Conversation with her? Your biggest danger is that you're going to show up to meet Vae, and she's going to say "Hi, Sythry! Meet my new friend X!"

You might want to think about moving Vae into the city. Or even the Duke's palace, no doubt with you along to basbysit. She's a security risk. You've got to limit your enemy's ability to interact with her.

We have places where we keep people who are vital to our national intersts, safe from our enemy's spies.

Beware....

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Are you *sure* about that? There have certainly been stories in the news about people eating their mates...

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Our 'power source' is just holocaust-war style weaponry, really... we've agreed not to use it on each others' cities, and 'only a few' people still have any lying around. Well, except for those reactors which are for purely peaceful purposes and would take *days* if not hours to convert over to producing weapons.

The Gormorror were probably from Pshent, not Oorah Thrassen. And from a particular, nendrai hating zi-ri who lives in Pshent in specific, I'd bet.

Hah. Would Vae go for that? "The good news, Vae, is that the Duke agreed to let you inside the city walls. The bad news is that you can NEVER LEAVE! MUA HA HA HA HA!"

... although it's a moot point at any rate, since I don't think you want anyone who throws around fireballs as a temper tantrum trapped inside a city of any sort, walls or no.

[yotogi.livejournal.com]

Fireballs, lightning, spatial distortions... she really is quite a virtuoso of havoc.

[vik_thor]

do it as an Orren?

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty clumsy as anything but a Zi Ri!